Wife accused of giving man lethal sherry enema
Wife explains how husband’s alcoholic enema habit killed him
A person drinking alcohol will usually pass out before getting a lethal dose. But if you’re getting it through an enema, you can pass out and still be ingesting more alcohol.
- Robert Turner
Some of us struggle with how to most appropriately show our spouses how much we love them and care about them. Even as much as some of us may struggle, I can give you an example of one that thing that none us would likely EVER do…unless we were complete and total DUMB@$$E$. We certainly wouldn’t give our loved one an enema consisting of the equivalent of two large bottles of sherry. (And, no, I wouldn’t like that over ice….)
Of course, Tammy Jean Warner IS a DUMB@$$, which would likely explain why she is charged with the murder of her late husband. Of course, while clearly lacking in intellectual agility, she certainly seems to have an overabundance of creativity at her disposal. I mean, would you have thought of using an alcohol enema as a way of ridding yourself of an annoying spouse? I certainly wouldn’t have. I probably would have stuck to the time-honored methods: guns, poison, blunt instruments, etc. I like to stick with what works. Clearly, I don’t have much of a future as a felon….
LAKE JACKSON - Investigators say a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband’s death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning. The enema caused his blood alcohol level to soar to 0.47 percent √≥ almost six times the legal intoxication limit, a toxicology report showed.
Tammy Jean Warner, 42, was indicted on a charge of negligent homicide. She is also charged with burning the will of her husband, Michael Warner, a month before his death on May 21.
Michael Warner, a 58-year-old machine shop owner, had a long history of alcoholism, but couldn’t ingest alcohol by mouth because of painful medical problems with his throat, said Lake Jackson police detective Robert Turner. The enema was a way he could become intoxicated without drinking alcohol, Turner said.
“I heard of this kind of thing in mortuary school in 1970, but this is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone actually doing it,” Turner said.
Turner said police think Warner gave her husband at least two large bottles of sherry, which is stronger than wine, in the enema.
“We’re not talking about little bottles here,” Turner said, “These were at least 1.5 liter bottles.”
This seems like nothing if not a recipe for going from sober to drunk to dead in almost no time flat, which, I suppose, is why Mrs. Warner employed this method. It’s likely not the way that you or I might choose to party, but hey, whatever gets you through the night, eh?
Of course, if Mrs. Warner had wanted to send her husband off on the last train to Paradise, an alcohol enema would certainly provide the ideal opportunity. Burning her husband’s will might have been a bit over the top, but then a DUMB@$$ AWARD isn’t meant to celebrate creative and nimble thinking, is it?
