When I was a kid, I used to watch the evening news and wonder what the anchors wore underneath the desk. I suppose the same curiosity could easily be applied to judges. Have you ever wondered what goes on underneath that black robe as the judge sits high above the fray? Well, be careful what questions you ask, because you might not like the answers.
This is the story of a judge, his robe…and a penis pump? Yep, you read that correctly. Those of you with vivid imaginations may not want to read any farther. It gets a bit messy….
Jurors and others in Judge Donald Thompson’s courtroom kept hearing a strange whooshing noise, like a bicycle pump or maybe a blood pressure cuff. During one trial, Thompson seemed so distracted that some jurors thought he was playing a hand-held video game or tying fly-fishing lures behind the bench.
The explanation, investigators say, is even stranger than some imagined: The judge had a habit of masturbating with a penis pump under his robe during trials.
The lurid allegations have led to criminal charges against Thompson, brought an embarrassing end to a solid career and shocked many of his colleagues. The case could also lead to a wave of appeals from defendants claiming that the judge was not paying attention while presiding over their cases.
Thompson, a 58-year-old married father of three grown children, has denied the allegations, and said the pump was just a gag gift received from a hunting buddy on his 50th birthday.
Apparently, the gag went just a wee bit so far. Perhaps it was the moaning and heavy breathing emanating from underneath the bench. Perhaps it was the judge’s unfortunate habit of going “commando” underneath his robe. Or perhaps it was just that the pump was just a bit too noisy. Of course, the fact that the judge was rather messy certainly didn’t help his case.
Police built a case against the judge after one of Wall’s officers testified during a 2003 murder trial. From the witness stand, the officer saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson’s robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk.
Investigators later collected carpet samples, Thompson’s robes and the chair from behind the bench, and found semen, according to court records….
Thompson’s court reporter, Lisa Foster, told authorities that she saw him use the pump at least 10 times during trials. She said the first time in court was in 2000, but she did not tell authorities. “I didn’t want to be found dead in a ditch somewhere,” she told The Associated Press.
Foster told authorities she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of Kurt Vomberg, a man accused of shaking a toddler to death. The case ended in a hung jury. The whooshing sound could be heard on Foster’s audiotape of the trial.
When jurors at the trial asked the judge about the sound, Thompson said he hadn’t heard it, but would listen for it.
And when the jurors asked why his faced was red and flushed and his breathing was labored….
Of course, the good news is that now Judge Thompson and his pump will have all the time together that they could want or need.