Wardrobe Malfunctions at Halftime — Guaranteed
There’s a price to pay for moralizing. And today, at halftime of the Super Bowl, you will pay dearly for pretending to be outraged by Janet Jackson’s breast. Not only will there be no beer ads with bikini-clad women and sex jokes, the sanitized halftime show will feature Paul McCartney, a man whose last Top 10 single was not only 20 years ago, but was “Spies Like Us.” It’s as if you’re not only paying indulgences for Janet but for the far more disturbing 1993 halftime show, when the NFL somehow let Michael Jackson sing with 3,500 local children.
- Joel Stein
Yep, you can can bet that there will be no “wardrobe malfunction” during this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. While last year’s fiasco may have been silly, tasteless, and uncalled for, it’s our collective faux indignation that has caused the NFL and advertisers to err on the side of Victorian caution this year.
Not only will we not be “blessed” with “wardrobe malfunctions”, we will not even be granted the mere hint of anything untoward, salacious, or even remotely titillating. If Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake represent one end of the spectrum, we are getting the other end this year with Paul McCartney. We can only pray that there will be no “wardrobe malfunctions” this time around.
Really, though, what was so bad about last year’s fiasco? Personally, I found the totality of the show more offensive the Ms. Jackson’s lone breast flopping in the breeze. The show as a whole was, at least in my opinion, far too overtly sexual in nature for what is viewed as a family event. The fact that Jackson’s right breast saw the light of day was hardly an act of criminal negligence or moral turpitude.
Of course, we live in a world in which cartoon sponges can be accused of promoting homosexuality and PBS cartoons can be damned as promoting the acceptances of gays and lesbians. Of course, people also see the face of Jesus in frying pans, so I suppose it depends on what you choose to hallucinate about, eh?
After last year’s halftime mammary faux pas, it became all too easy for Americans to decry the unseemliness and immorality of it all. Without thinking about the potential backlash it might produce, it was suddenly fashionable to pretend to be outraged at the prurient nature of it all, and how it was yet another example of the impending decline and fall of Western Civilization.
Of course, this now has turned into a case of “Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it.” Hey, if you want wholesome intertainment, go watch Nickolodeon or The Disney Channel. At least there the moralizers won’t have anything to get their knickers in a twist over. This year, we’re getting the entertainment equivalent of Ozzie and Harriet. Yawn…. Of course, I hate halftime shows anyway, so at least this time around I’ll have an excuse to get off my @$$ and socialize.
