Cardinals RB is arrested at airport
DUMB@$$E$ come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors. Sometimes, though, there are those who go far and above the call of duty in pursuit of their DUMB@$$ AWARD- and they end up richly deserving it. Such is the saga of Larry Ned.
Larry Ned is an NFL running back, albeit an undistinguished journeyman. Ned spent last season with the Minnesota Vikings, who recently placed him on waivers. This is where the funs begins.
Players get released frequently in the NFL. Just as frequently, they’re claimed by other teams. Ned was claimed by the Phoenix Cardinals. Since even an NFL journeyman making the league minimum still makes in excess of $300,000, It was probably a good day for Ned. After all, $300,000+ goes a long ways, no? Apparently not in Larry Ned’s world.
I suppose what truly makes Ned such an impressive DUMB@$$ is the fact that he was living the dream of many- playing in the NFL- and yet he clearly had no idea of just how good he had it. We can only hope that Ned’s next job involves asking someone if they’d like fries with their order….
A newly signed Cardinals running back was arrested Friday at Sky Harbor International Airport after he allegedly stole another flier’s laptop.
Larry Lee Ned, 26, joined the team Thursday when he was claimed off waivers from Minnesota.
Ned was arrested with the computer at 1:50 p.m. in a men’s bathroom in Terminal 4, said Detective Tony Morales, a spokesman for the Phoenix police department.
Moments earlier, Ned had walked through a security checkpoint. After he went through the detector, he picked up a Dell laptop at the end of the scanner, Morales said.
The laptop’s owner was still going through the screening process.
Phoenix police officers stationed at the airport found Ned hiding in a nearby men’s restroom, Morales said. Ned was arrested and booked on a theft charge, he said.
On Friday evening, the Cardinals announced that Ned had been released, and that they had re-signed running back Damien Anderson.
WTF? What kind of a DUMB@$$ throws away an NFL career to steal a laptop when he could easily afford several just like it? To make matters worse, he hides in a men’s room hoping it will all go away. Now, I’ve been through Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, and if memory serves, the men’s room don’t offer much in the way of cover and concealment.
Who knows what Larry Ned was thinking…assuming of course any actual, honest-to-God thought process was occurring. My guess is that if you hooked Ned up to an EEG, the readings would be roughly equivalent to those produced by cottage cheese.
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