Well, you didn't ask for the vegetarian chili, did you?

Officials: Diner finds finger in chili

Well, you DID say that you want your chili with extra meat, didn’t you?

Hey, in elementary school we always complained about the “mystery meat” swill that the trolls in the cafeteria threw at us twice a week. It was that gray, barely edible, impossible to describe, vaguely meat-like substance that for all we knew could have been Soylent Green (Cue the Charlton Heston clip: SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!). Lord only knows what was in the chili, because the cafeteria staff certainly wasn’t giving it up. It was if they’d taken a vow of silence. Of course, if I HAD known what was in the chili, I would have sworn off any sort of meat by the time I turned ten.

So you found someone’s missing digit in your chili? Yeah, well, at least you found out what the mystey meat was, eh? Here’s some advice: next time, stick to the hamburgers. At least if there IS a finger in it, it will have been ground up. Watch out for the fingernails, though.