May 2005 Archives

May 31, 2005
Lie. Prevaricate. Obfuscate. Ignore.
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May 31, 2005
Don't try this at home, kids....
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May 31, 2005
Protect. Serve. Defend. Proselytize?
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May 31, 2005
If Republicans wrote the history books
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May 31, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 31, 2005
Uh...sorta like the Bush Administration, eh?
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May 30, 2005
The true heroes
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May 30, 2005
So this is what they meant by calling themselves the "Big Tent" party??
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May 30, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 30, 2005
Give me a Sharpie before the terrorists win
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May 30, 2005
Yep, if not for Newsweek, we'd still be universally loved
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May 30, 2005
After all, doesn't everyone??
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May 29, 2005
Beware the evil (but incredibly tasty) shrimp
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May 29, 2005
Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being an @$$hole, #1
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May 29, 2005
Now do you finally believe that we were lied to?
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May 29, 2005
This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us
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May 29, 2005
And Harry Reid's head on a stake
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May 29, 2005
Never misunderestimate the power of an edumication
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May 28, 2005
From here on, it's all about decisions and consequences
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May 28, 2005
If you can fire a coach or a manager, why not an owner??
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May 28, 2005
Yes, Congressman...sometimes free speech is offensive speech. Deal with it.
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May 28, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 28, 2005
Something you likely won't see in northern Minnesota in February
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May 28, 2005
Two words that should never be used in the same sentence: "President" and "propaganda"
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May 27, 2005
Damn it, I said I wanted it over ice!
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May 27, 2005
That's hot? No, that's trash.
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May 27, 2005
Next on "White Men In The News"....
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May 27, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 33
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May 27, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 27, 2005
There is something horribly amiss when a nation is obsessed with an 18-year-old's breasts, no?
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May 26, 2005
And now for something completely different...again
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May 26, 2005
Better to be thought a fool than to be Bill O'Reilly and remove all doubt, #2
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May 26, 2005
Today, couches....tomorrow, the refrigerator on your trailer's front porch
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May 26, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 26, 2005
Like we need another excuse to kill infidels....
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May 26, 2005
But I can quit any time I want...I just don't want to
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May 26, 2005
Adult Fetus Opposes Stem Cell Bill
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May 25, 2005
Yeah, and he can beat up your God, too
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May 25, 2005
Ya just knew this was gonna happen, eh??
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May 25, 2005
Better to be thought a fool than to be Bill O'Reilly and remove all doubt
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May 25, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 25, 2005
Uh...Phil Who??
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May 25, 2005
Yep, we seem to be fertile ground for ambitious, power-mad, castrating feminazis
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May 25, 2005
So, reporting bad news is seditious?
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May 24, 2005
And now for something completely different....
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May 24, 2005
Yep...them roads and bridges just build themselves, eh?
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May 24, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 32
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May 24, 2005
Sorry, but my karma ran over your dogma....
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May 24, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 24, 2005
Apparently, we're not there yet
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May 24, 2005
This is what you get when you elect a liar and a demagogue
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May 23, 2005
That's great, but what the hell is up with that tie??
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May 23, 2005
Those who have a grip on reality, do. Those who don't become school administrators.
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May 23, 2005
Which is more valuable: religious propaganda or the lives of our children?
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May 23, 2005
I have seen the future, and it is...HUGE....
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May 23, 2005
This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us
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May 23, 2005
I'd hate to think of what happens when you toast them....
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May 22, 2005
Yes, but now I have a forum....
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May 22, 2005
Just another quiet Sunday morning in Paradise...or not
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May 22, 2005
So, if we can't execute them, we have to feed them and house them, right?
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May 22, 2005
Because there's plenty more when he came from
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May 22, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 22, 2005
And anyone who likes Nicole Ritchie is a total fag....
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May 21, 2005
Thanks for THAT mental picture....
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May 21, 2005
Hey, a girl can dream, right??
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May 21, 2005
Yeah, your God probably can beat up my God
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May 21, 2005
In the end, they probably deserve one another
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May 21, 2005
Apparently, not nearly enough
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May 21, 2005
A lesson that could stand to be learned in the White House
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May 20, 2005
OK...now I really AM scarred for life....
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May 20, 2005
One morning, we may just awaken to find ourselves living in a theocracy
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May 20, 2005
By this time next week, she'll be in the Kansas City Royals' starting rotation
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May 20, 2005
Anybody want to check Brat for a pulse? (#2)
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May 20, 2005
This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us
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May 20, 2005
I knew Osama bin Laden, and you, sir, are no Osama bin Laden
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May 19, 2005
Apparently, Homeland Security is taking no chances
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May 19, 2005
It's not easy being blessed, #2
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May 19, 2005
This guy oughta get a medal
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May 19, 2005
The first step toward getting help is admitting that you have a problem
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May 19, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 19, 2005
It's not called the "Grand Old Party" for nothing, eh??
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May 18, 2005
It's not easy being blessed
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May 18, 2005
They probably thought he used to be Lindsay Lohan
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May 18, 2005
Jesus always seemed like a red meat sorta guy, don'tcha think??
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May 18, 2005
You just can't make this stuff up....
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May 18, 2005
So whose God gets to rule the roost?
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May 18, 2005
It may be dead, but it's offspring is doing even more damage
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May 18, 2005
Thanks...I think....
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May 18, 2005
You can't hide from the truth
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May 17, 2005
Were the Crusades like this??
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May 17, 2005
Who says irony is dead?
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May 17, 2005
Why I'll be boycotting "Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith"
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May 17, 2005
Well, at least you can't blame 1600 dead American soldiers on our lies
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May 17, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 17, 2005
Because, after all, Jesus votes Republican
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May 16, 2005
Oops...our bad....(update)
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May 16, 2005
Oops...our bad....
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May 16, 2005
Time for a trip down the enviromental rabbit hole
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May 16, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener (& so much more)
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May 16, 2005
So much for that commitment you made to your employees
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May 15, 2005
It's about recognizing and stifling the tyranny of the majority
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May 15, 2005
This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us
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May 15, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 15, 2005
Apparently, being an ace isn't what it used to be
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May 15, 2005
Here's a few clues (Chapter 6)
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May 14, 2005
Well, this ought to solve THAT problem, eh??
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May 14, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 31
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May 14, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 14, 2005
The more things change....
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May 13, 2005
Besides, it's about all you really have to offer
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May 13, 2005
For those of you looking for a break from politics as usual....
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May 13, 2005
Breaking promises is now a legally recognized precedent
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May 13, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 13, 2005
And all it will cost us is your sons and daughters
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May 13, 2005
Isn't it about time to come clean?
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May 12, 2005
It would've been cheaper....and 1600+ Americans might still be alive
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May 12, 2005
What a novel concept....
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May 12, 2005
Karma can be a real b***h, no?
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May 12, 2005
You have only yourself to blame
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May 12, 2005
What's good for the goose....
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May 12, 2005
Say it loud...and proud
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May 11, 2005
How did we miss this one??
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May 11, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 11, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 30
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May 11, 2005
A different King George, but still the same idea
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May 11, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 10, 2005
Greetings from Pleasantville....
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May 10, 2005
But at least Rep. Al Edwards will be happy....
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May 10, 2005
Yeah, they may be dying of cancer, but they'll have jobs
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May 10, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 10, 2005
Next on Eyewitness News: Are your Malted Milk Balls safe?
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May 10, 2005
And we didn't even have to invade
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May 9, 2005
He always did have a way with the ladies....
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May 9, 2005
This is what friends are for, eh?
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May 9, 2005
Game on, eh?
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May 9, 2005
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression
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May 9, 2005
Yes, officer...they were real...and they were SPECTACULAR!!
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May 8, 2005
Time to begin collecting two of everything??
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May 8, 2005
Get a roll of stamps and mail it in....
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May 8, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 8, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 29
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May 8, 2005
Being Republican means the truth is whatever you determine it to be
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May 8, 2005
The answer to the question, "So, why DO guys like beach volleyball so much??" (Exhibit S)
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May 8, 2005
That would be too much to hope for, eh?
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May 7, 2005
Because he who has the gold (and the votes) makes the rules
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May 7, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 7, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 28
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May 7, 2005
Ah...so this is why we went to war....
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May 7, 2005
Calling it as he sees it
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May 6, 2005
Yes, Virginia, there IS a God...and he doesn't wear pinstripes
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May 6, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 6, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 27
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May 6, 2005
Because if you're not Right, you're just plain wrong
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May 6, 2005
This is what happens when zealotry takes precedence over science
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May 6, 2005
He doesn't live here, but he does own the place
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May 6, 2005
Another attempt to drag public education kicking and screaming back into the 15th century
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May 5, 2005
Focusing on what's REALLY important
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May 5, 2005
Unfortunately, the truth doesn't often do much to improve recruiting
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May 5, 2005
If this doesn't work, they can always blame it on a lack of hugs as a child
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May 5, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 26
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May 5, 2005
Condoning hatred makes you complicit in it
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May 5, 2005
Better to be though a fool than to be Ann Coulter and remove all doubt
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May 5, 2005
Because it's easier than asking the tough questions
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May 4, 2005
Comfort the afflicted...afflict the comfortable
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May 4, 2005
Now here's a clusterf**k worth celebrating, eh??
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May 4, 2005
Methinks perhaps you've chosen the wrong line of work
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May 4, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 25
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May 4, 2005
It's got a nice beat, and you can dance to it....
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May 4, 2005
Hmm...perhaps they're on to something....
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May 3, 2005
So much for being willing to forgive....
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May 3, 2005
Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener
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May 3, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 24
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May 3, 2005
This is what can happen when ideology trumps history
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May 3, 2005
Because after all, God votes Republican
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May 3, 2005
So how many guys do you think will be volunteering to help Marion Jones??
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May 2, 2005
Apparently, we're not universally loved
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May 2, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 23
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May 2, 2005
'Cuz it's all about the children, don'tchaknow??
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May 2, 2005
I could get used to watching baseball like this
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May 2, 2005
Not exactly a thousand points of light, eh??
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May 2, 2005
If a President falls in the forest and no one is there to hear him, does he make a sound?
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May 1, 2005
Apparently, we're not a very forgiving lot
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May 1, 2005
And it couldn't have happened to a nicer demagogue, Chapter 22
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May 1, 2005
So, let me see if I understand this...I'm going to be penalized for being successful? Yep....
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May 1, 2005
And you thought the Ethics Committee was about enforcing the rules? Silly wabbit....
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