Guard Accused of Urinating on Computer
There are times when I am truly thankful for the wise and generous Deity who bestowed the gift of alcohol upon an ever-grateful humankind. For without alcohol, the DUMB@$$ population would be greatly dimished, and life as we know it would be far less entertaining. And who would pee the bars of holding cells onto computers?
Yes, without alcohol, people would be significantly less worthy of our attention. Let’s face it; people are inherently pretty f——-g boring and intensely stupid. Most folks struggle to simply keep from dragging their knuckles on a day-to-day basis. Alcohol simply frees the inhibitions, and brings out the inner DUMB@$$ in so many mental midgets. This is where the intrepid Mr. Shannon enters the picture- and he does not disappoint.
OLYMPIA, Wash. (AP) - A state prison guard who was arrested after a drunken brawl at a nightclub may also be charged with urinating on a municipal jail computer, police said.
Willie M. Shannon, 26, of Lacey, employed at Washington Corrections Center in Shelton, was transferred to the Thurston County Jail, where he was booked for investigation of first-degree malicious mischief and then was released after posting bail, according to police reports Monday.
His employment status was unclear.
Yessiree…Shannon’s employment stated may be undefined at present, but his status as a certified, grade-A, first-class, top-shelf, knuckle-dragging DUMB@$$ with poor bladder control has been cemented for all time.
Shannon, Sean W. Dack, 25, of McCleary, who works with Shannon at the prison, and Randy M. Hinchcliffe, 38, of Olympia, who has previous felony convictions and knew Shannon from the prison, were arrested after fighting early Sunday morning at The Vault, police St. James Costa said.
Describing all three as apparently intoxicated, investigators found Shannon and Hinchcliffe had been thrown out of the club after punching and shoving each other, and Dack joined the fray after initially seeming to be trying to break it up, Costa said.
Dack and Hinchcliffe were cited at the municipal jail for disorderly conduct and released, but Shannon, while confined in a holding cell, relieved himself through a protective screen onto a nearby computer workstation, according to police reports.
Damage to the computer, monitor, fax machine and other hardware was estimated at $1,500, and other equipment was rendered unusable because of the contamination, Costa said.
Shannon apologized afterward, Costa added.
Oops…my bad, bro’….
Here’s an idea. How about we pee on Shannon’s paycheck?…assuming that he is still collecting one, of course. Or even better, how about we just keep him in a holding cell with no toilet for an extended period while feeding him bottles of water? Or, better yet- beer. Hole him up with a case of Rainier and let the fun begin. Hey, it’s not like we want to turn him loose on the general public, right??
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