What If Bush Told the Truth at Annapolis
So what if Our Glorious Leader had told the truth at the US Naval Academy the other day? What if he had owned up to his role and culpability in the clusterf—k that is his Iraq policy? What if he admitted that his lies and deceptions are almost single-handedly responsible for the deaths of more than 2,000 young Americans? And what if he finally came clean with the admission that he is responsible for this generation’s Vietnam?
And what if he offered to resign, having recognized that he has brought the opprobrium of an entire country upon himself with the miserably dishonest and disingenuous way that he has governed?
Yeah, I know; it ain’t never gonna happen, but a man can dream, no??
SCENE: George I is sitting in his bedroom having a drink when he accidentally mixed in a strong dose of truth serum that a CIA agent had prepared for the interrogation of a terror suspect. Later he gives this speech:
NATIONAL STRATEGERY FOR VICTORY IN IRAQ
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2005 9:45 A.M. EST
GEORGE I: Thank you. Thanks, please be seated. Thanks for the warm welcome prepared by my staff. It’s good to be back at the Naval Academy where I came once as a visitor and made almost the same speech. I never attended any academy but like to pretend that I did.
Although I went AWOL, I like to pretend I’m a kind of service hero. I’m pleased to provide a convenient excuse for you to miss class. And to inform you that some day you may have to die for my legacy and for Dick Cheney. (Applause.)
After all, that’s what I pay you for.
At this point I must mention the disaster of 9/11, 9/ll, 9/11, 9/11 so you will think I did something heroic on that occasion.
Of course, we all know what happened. Our Glorious Leader froze, and then went into hiding. Now THERE’S some principled leadership, eh?
Each of you has volunteered to wear our nation’s uniform in a time of war — knowing all the risks and dangers that accompany military service. But you didn’t know you are being sent on an illicit invasion to kill Muslims in order to get their oil and land and make them colonialists of my neocon order.
My Christian sponsors are grateful for your devotion to duty — and America is proud of you for being so gullible as to take orders based on lies. (Applause.)
I thank all the Admirals and Generals for their invitation for me to come and give this speech. If they hadn’t I would have fired them. Hell, I appreciate all the soldiers surrounding me constantly.
Of course he does. They give him an air of something close to credibility. Of course, what he doesn’t recognize is that soldiers are trained to follow orders and to respect our nation’s civilian leaders- the position, not necessarily the people occupying those positions. I would suspect that many of our men and women and uniform recognize the Prevaricator in Chief for the liar, martinet, and despot he truly is. But they follow orders, which is why our nation’s military is the most efficient and professional fighting force in the world. Would that the same could be said for the the President who sends them off to die in a pointless war with no apparent plan or exit strategy.
Some of your former classmates are training with Navy Seal teams that will storm Iraqi safe homes, businesses and infrastructure in lightning destructive raids, smashing down doors, destroying houses, lobbing grenades, and all that good American know-how stuff. Some of you will destroy many Iraqi houses, kill the inhabitants, and probably torture and abuse others. So get with it.
Others are preparing to lead Marine rifle platoons that will hunt whomever I declare is EVIL in the mountains of Afghanistan and terrorize innocent people in the streets of Iraq. Others are training as naval aviators who will fly combat missions over the skies of Afghanistan and Iraq and elsewhere bombing, strafing and killing whomever I tell you to.
Still others are training as sailors and submariners who will deliver the combat power of the United States to the farthest regions of the world — and deliver profitable assistance to our corporations from those suffering from natural disasters….
In the years ahead, you’ll join them in the fight. Yes you’ll still be fighting in Iraq for the next 20 years because I don’t want to leave the oil and bases. Your service is needed, because our nation is engaged in a war that I am unwisely fighting on many fronts — from the streets of Western cities, to the mountains of Afghanistan, the islands of Southeast Asia and the Horn of Africa.
No one in the world is safe from my wrathful democracy and liberty.
This war is going to take many turns, and whomever I say is the enemy must be defeated on every battlefield. Yet the terrorists like myself have made it clear that Iraq is the central front in my war against humanity, and so you must recognize that I declare Iraq as the central front in the war on terror. As you fight whomever I declare to be an enemy in Iraq, every man and woman who volunteers to defend our nation deserves an unwavering commitment to the mission — and a clear strategy.
Of course, I never had a strategy, not for entrance nor for exit, only for destruction and to steal the oil and declare myself a gallant victor. A clear strategy begins with a clear understanding of the enemy we face, which I had no idea of.
And so it goes. It would be nice if Our Glorious Leader would own up to his responsibility for the clusterf—k that is the war in Iraq, but we all know it will never happen. Nor does he have to worry about being held accountable, because Republicans control both houses of Congress. It’ s pretty simple, really, because- repeat after me- BEING A REPUBLICAN MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY.
Hey, it’s not as if he got his helmet polished by an intern or stained her blue dress, right?
