Man faces charges after copter rescue
What sort of man pays a male prostitute $150 for sex, agrees to meet said prostitute in a remote area, and then gets lost after the rendezvous goes awry? Oh…and also ends up walking two miles through mud, losing his shoes?
This one ought to be subtitled, “I Did It All For The Nookie”….
All this…just to get his “needs” taken care of? Man, I’ll bet the next time the urge strikes, Mr. DUMB@$$ Bruno may well just go ahead and take care of business himself, eh? Not only will he save himself $150, but he’ll also spare himself the police response and the DUMB@$$ AWARD.
Of course, you DO have to admire Bruno’s creativity. Man, it must been quite awhile for him, given the lengths he was willing to go in order to get a little action. At least our DUMB@$$ gets an “A” for effort, if not for planning and foresight.
Arrest warrants have been issued for a 49-year-old Middletown man who had to be hoisted to safety by a police helicopter after getting stuck in waist-deep mud when a would-be sexual rendezvous in a marsh went bad, police said.
Delaware State Police Cpl. Jeff Oldham said the man could have died had he not been rescued. Oldham gave the following account of what police suspect took place early Sunday near Rehoboth Beach:
Thomas J. Bruno allegedly agreed to pay a male prostitute to have sex with him near a wastewater treatment plant off Wolfe Neck Road. But the two, who had met in a bar earlier that night, got into an argument and the sex act never took place, he told police.
Bruno got lost while trying to leave the area, so he called 911 with his cell phone about 4 a.m. He was disoriented and could not provide a precise description of his whereabouts. He then lost cell phone contact with authorities, making his rescue more difficult. At the time he lost contact, he reportedly had lost his shoes in mud.
When troopers found him nearly four hours later, he was stuck in mud up to his waist. Police used night-vision goggles to locate his vehicle, then followed his footprints about two miles to where he was stuck. Rehoboth Beach firefighters and Lewes police assisted troopers in the search.
Of course, all of this wasn’t nearly silly enough for our intrepid DUMB@$$. First, Bruno told police that he’d simply driven off the road and gotten stranded in a field. Before long, being the curious sorts that police everywhere tend to be, they figured out that Mr. DUMB@$$ Bruno had given the prostitute $150 for whatever act was supposed to be committed upon Mr. Bruno. And, since police generally dislike being lied to, Bruno will have to answer to charges of falsely reporting an incident, trespassing, criminal solicitation and patronizing a prostitute- once he’s realeased from the hospital, that is. A lot of trouble for a little nookie, eh??
Yes, indeed…someone had a VERY bad day….
