January 2, 2006 8:27 AM

So...when does he stop growing??

Over the past month, our lives have slowly been taken over by our new Labradoodle puppy. Actually, “puppy” seems something of a misnomer. Judge is barely 14 weeks old, and he is already as large as Salem, our 7-year-old Tibetan Terrier. No so very long ago, Salem could simply sit on Judge when he got on her nerves. That, sadly for Salem, is no longer an available option.

I’ve never had children of my own, but what’s happening here can’t be too much different. Our every waking moment revolves around Judge’s toilet habits. A lack of attention might mean being gifted with a fresh steaming pile of dog crap in the front of the house…and in some cases not discovering it for a few hours. (Honey, is that a new perfume you’re wearing…or did you step in somthing in the front yard??) Yes, there’s nothing quite like stumbling around in the early light of morning and stepping into a large pile of…AW, $&)@!!!!!

If you were to form an merely impression based the state of our living room, you might think we have several small children. Actually, I’m not sure most small children have as many toys as Judge does. What used to be our disposable income seems to now be committed to buying dog toys. Perhaps it’s the speed with which he can tear a toy apart, but the sheer volume of toys does seem to keep him from chewing on the cords to Eric’s Xbox.

Of course, some toys have been retired out of sheer necessity. One of Judge’s (and Salem’s) absolute favorite toys is called a Bully Stick. Judge will spend hours contentedly chewing on a Bully Stick. There’s only one problem, though- Bully Sticks are freeze-dried bull penises. Yes, you read that correctly. If that wasn’t disturbing enough, just try being affectionate with a dog who has penis breath. Ugghhhh…that just seems horribly wrong….

Watching Judge grow has been truly amazing. We’ve had him for about six weeks now, and he’s easily 3 1/2-4 times larger than when She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities brough him home. Sometimes, I could swear that, if I’m close enough to him, I can actually hear him growing. There is really no way of knowing when it will all stop, but Labradoodles in some cases can grow up to be about 90 pounds. Right; and about that time we should be able to throw a saddle on him and ride him around the back yard…. GIDDYUP!!!

Like most puppies, there is almost nothing that Judge will not stick in his mouth. We’ve somehow managed to minimize the damage in the house, but our backyard looks like a combat zone. Look out the dining room window, and you’ll see a hodgepodge of stuffing from various toys, chewed up outdoor furniture, holes from where Judge has been digging to China. He’s discovered that the lake in the backyard has water in it, which being half Labrador, I suppose was just a matter of time. Before we know it, he’ll probably be swimming after the ducks.

The adventure continues….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 2, 2006 8:27 AM.

Well, we DID go a bit above and beyond, didn't we?? was the previous entry in this blog.

Maybe next year, eh? is the next entry in this blog.

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