March 13, 2006 6:20 AM

And this is a problem...why, exactly??

Candidate Friedman caught drinking beer in parade car

DALLAS - Gubernatorial hopeful Kinky Friedman rode in a St. Patrick’s Day parade car Saturday with his trademark black hat and burning cigar - plus a beer in his hand, an apparent violation of the state’s open container law. A spokeswoman for Friedman, the author and musician running as an independent, acknowledged that the candidate drank from a can of Guinness handed to him. State law prohibits opened alcoholic beverages in the passenger area of a motor vehicle. The Class C misdemeanor carries a maximum fine of $500.

Oh, the humanity! Oh, the horror and injustice of it all! How DARE Kinky Friedman consume alcohol in a St. Patrick’s Day parade?

OK, y’all…repeat after me:

WAKE UP AND SMELL THE $&)_!@^% CAT LITTER, WILLYA??

Yes, strictly speaking, Friedman was in violation of Texas’ Open Bottle Law. At this point, I feel honor-bound to remind y’all that this WAS a St. Patrick’s Day parade, and that St. Patrick’s Day is infamous for green beer, not green tea. Sorry, but if I’m in a parade and someone hands me a Guinness, you can bet that I’m not going to be saying “no”- I’m going to be looking for a cupholder and thanking my new best friend. Can we all PLEASE get a grip here??

“Guinness is the drink that kept the Irish from taking over the world. It would be unthinkable not to have a Guinness during a St. Patrick’s Day parade. In fact, it would be spiritually wrong,” Friedman said in a statement issued by spokeswoman Laura Stromberg.

Indeed. Though I no longer support Friedman (who once ran for office as a Republican), it’s tough to argue with a man who recognizes the essence of a holiday and is willing to celebrate it’s true spirit, even though many from the Morality Brigades will end up with their panties in a wad.

Dallas police didn’t cite Friedman, and Lt. Rick Watson said Friedman can’t be ticketed after the fact because it wasn’t witnessed by an officer.

Of course, if, while consuming said Guinness, Friedman had been getting his helmet polished by an SMU cheerleader in the backseat, then we might have an issue. As far as I know, however, the smile on Friedman’s face wasn’t because his pants were around his ankles.

Photographs taken by The Dallas Morning News showed Friedman, who wasn’t driving, holding the beer and appearing to take a drink.

Hmm…drinking a Guinness on St. Patrick’s Day?? Off with his $&)_!@^% head, eh?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 13, 2006 6:20 AM.

Now do you believe it? was the previous entry in this blog.

Finally...a Democrat with some juevos grandes... is the next entry in this blog.

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