May 25, 2006 6:08 AM

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

Gov. Bush quietly approached to become next NFL commissioner

Gov. Bush says he’ll finish term in Florida

TALLAHASSEE — Could Gov. Jeb Bush’s future be in football instead of politics? While U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has publicly flirted with the idea of becoming the next commissioner of the National Football League, Bush has been privately approached to gauge his interest in the job.

Gee, like the National Football League is lacking for qualified candidates, right? Please tell me that they’re not serious about this. The least the NFL poobahs could do is find someone who hasn’t made a career out of pandering to the Religious Right (see Schiavo, Terry) and helping his brother steal his way into the White House. Jeb Bush couldn’t lead a starving man to a McDonalds, much a collection of 32 fabulously wealthy, hopelessly pampered, self-absorbed owners, each with their own agenda. I’ve heard someone, perhaps it was Paul Tagliabue, describe being NFL Commissioner as being akin to herding cats. That might be a bit on the charitable side, but I still can’t imagine Jeb Bush having the wherewithal or the cojones to handle the cat-herding required of an NFL Commissioner.

Of course, I’d have a difficult time imagining him as a Governor, although he seems a good fit for a truly off-the-wall state like Florida, which is half sinkholes anyway. Hey, it’s a peninsula; how much damage can the man do?

If a multi-billion dollar business like the National Football League can’t do better than Jeb Bush, well…what, Pee Wee Herman isn’t available? I mean, Bush would make Satan Bud Selig look positively competent by comparison.

Bush, who spends his Sundays each fall watching pro football, acknowledged Tuesday that the NFL job was broached during a recent meeting with Patrick Rooney Sr., owner of the Palm Beach Kennel Club.

Rooney is the brother of Dan Rooney, who owns the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers and co-chairs the NFL’s search committee looking for a replacement for Commissioner Paul Tagliabue.

“I met with Mr. Rooney and I said I’m doing my job until I’m finished and then I’m going to consider other things. But I’m not going to do anything until I finish,” Bush, who leaves office in January, told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

And for that, a grateful nation says “THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!”

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 25, 2006 6:08 AM.

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