One tough ballot problem: Polling tells Strayhorn camp it must use the ‘Grandma’ tag
AUSTIN - Independent Carole Keeton Strayhorn won political office under her two previous married names, but in this year’s race for governor, voters apparently are saying: Strayhorn who? Strayhorn told supporters in an e-mail this week that is why she wants to solve her name identification problem by appearing on the November ballot as “Grandma” Strayhorn. She has campaigned as “One Tough Grandma” since 1998.
Well, I suppose this makes sense. If you can’t get on the Texas gubernatorial ballot by beating the incumbernt Republican government, perhaps gimmickry might work. Strayhorn, who gave up trying to win the Republican nomination when she figured out that she wasn’t going to be able to defeat the darling of the Texas GOP’s nutcase wing, Rick “Governor Goodhair” Perry, is trying to find a gimmick that will get her over the top. Apparently having determined that trying to convince Texas Republican voters of the superiority of her ideas is a waste of time, Strayhorn is now looking for a marketing tool…and everyone loves Grandma, eh?
Of course, it’s not like “Grandma” Strayhorn would be the first nickname on the ballot this fall. In fact, how about we just list the main candidates with their respective nicknames:
James Rchard “Governor Goodhair” Perry (Republican)
Richard “Kinky” Friedman (
RepublicanIndependent)Carole “Grandma” Keeton Strayhorn (
RepublicanIndependent)Chris “Vanilla Thrilla” Bell (Democrat)
And while we’re at it, why not have a picture of each candidate’s favorite cartoon character on the ballot next to their name? That way, those illiterate voters would have an easier time sorts out the candidates, increasing the likelihood that they would vote the way they wanted.
Strayhorn has six granddaughters. “Once voters are told that Strayhorn is ‘One Tough Grandma,’ she jumps 10 points in every poll we have taken, and (Gov. Rick) Perry drops,” the e-mail said. “No public poll has tested her nickname ‘Grandma,’ only Strayhorn.”
The e-mail says that is why she will appear on the November ballot as Carole Keeton “Grandma” Strayhorn.
And that is how she filled out her application for a spot on the ballot, said Scott Haywood, spokesman for the Texas Secretary of State’s Office.
But the office is still about two weeks away from determining whether Strayhorn and Richard “Kinky” Friedman ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ who has applied to appear on the ballot as Kinky Friedman ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ filed enough valid voter signatures to qualify for ballot status. Both campaigns claim to have turned in many times more than the 45,540 required.
Haywood said Texas Secretary of State Roger Williams will not rule on nicknames on the ballot until the petition-counting process is complete in about two weeks.
State law allows the use of a nickname on the ballot if it is a name by which the candidate has been “commonly known for at least three years preceding the election.”
“The law doesn’t allow you to use a political slogan. So we weren’t going to try that,” said Strayhorn’s campaign manager and son, Brad McClellan. “More people know her as ‘grandma’ than Strayhorn.”
You know, I ran for Governor in 2002 (I think I got about 11 votes), but perhaps what I was missing was a nickname. I have no idea what might work, but judging by the reactions of a few of my readers, I could test a few of these nicknames out on a focus group:
“Liberal Wackjob”
“Clueless Numbnuts”
“Damn Librul”
“Studmuffin”
“Wacko Jacko” (the current favorite of She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities)
Feel free to chime in with your suggestions. I haven’t yet decided if I’m going to throw my hat in the ring this year, but it’s not as if Chris Bell is doing much of anything. I’ve been at least as visible as he has been over the past few months…which is to say not at all.
Then again, if all you need to win in Texas is a clever nickname, I might still have a shot, eh?
