June 13, 2006 6:06 AM

You can expect your problems to be addressed only if you donated large sums of money

What Republicans Worry About

Republicans are concerned with gay marriage and the burden of the estate tax on the rich, while the rest of us question war, economy, environment and civilization.

We have real problems in this country. In case you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me refresh your memory a bit. All is not well in Ronald Reagan’s Shining City on the Hill. Given the mediocrity currently inhabiting the White House, this should hardly come as a surprise. So what’s happening? Well, I’m glad you asked:

  • We still have a senseless, murderous war going on in Iraq. Or are you not worried because your son or daughter isn’t involved?

  • New Orleans and much of the Gulf Coast is still a disaster area as we enter another hurricane season. Or did you think Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader’s speech in New Orleans’ Jackson Square took care of everything?

  • Gas is approaching (or in excess of, depending on where you live) $3/gallon. Or are you the CEO of an multinational oil company, and the record profits mean you’re making money hand over fist?

  • Senior citizens are still befuddled by Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader’s Medicare prescription plan. Or do you work for a drug company or HMO who happens to be making money hand over fist?

  • Republican politicians are treating government as if it’s their personal bank. Or do you not mind your tax dollars being used to pay for mansions, golf trips, and luxury cars?

  • The Religious Right is demanding their seat at the table, which means Evangelical Christians will attempt to remake our world to fit their narrow, fear- and ignorance-based agenda. Or do you not mind being discriminated against because you’re not rich, White, and Christian?

This brings me to the fundamental difference in what Liberals and Conservatives worry about. We Liberals worry about our children dying in Iraq. We worry about oil companies making unconscionable profits while we pay ever more money to fill our gas tanks. We worry about being able to out our children through college. We worry about finding a way to put New Orleans and the Gulf Coast back together. We worry about the growing deficit and the burden that Republicans seem all too happy to saddle our children and our grandchildren with. We worry about the environment. Yes, there are a bunch of things we worry about, which, strangely enough, don’t seem to be on the radar of Conservatives.

Conservatives? They’re worried about gay marriage and prayer in public schools. They’re worried about the estate tax. Can you say “out of touch with reality”?

Gay marriage, now there’s a crisis. Well, OK, so there isn’t much gay marriage going on here in Texas. None, in fact. First, we made it illegal. Then, we made it unconstitutional. But President Bush is all concerned about it, so I guess we have to alter the U.S. Constitution. Gus and Captain Call (of “Lonesome Dove” fame) will be an item — with who knows who waiting in line right after them.

Also of great concern to Republicans is God Almighty, who, rather to my surprise, has been elected chairman of the Texas Republican Party. That’s what they announced at the biannual convention in Fort Worth this week: “He is the chairman of the Party.” Sheesh, the Democrats couldn’t even get Superman.

Also weighing down the nation with a heavy burden is the estate tax, which the Senate will try to repeal this week. The estate tax applies to around 1 percent of Americans, and I have yet to find any record of it costing anyone a family farm or business. It affects only very, very, very rich people, of whom you are probably not one. And they don’t, actually, need another tax break.

So, it would seems that we Liberals have been worrying our pointy little heads over all the wrong things, eh? Man, life is so much easier when you can narrow your worries down to a few easily manageable trifles. ‘Cuz Lord knows a person could drive themselves batty worrying about the things that REALLY matter….

The war in Iraq? No sweat. Impending war with Iran? We’re carefree. The economy? Hey, did you see that employment report? Well, ignore it. Budget out of control, shipwreck ahead? Never mind — Bush doesn’t. Worst class divisions since the Gilded Age, rich so much more enormously richer than everybody else, country starting to get creepy? Don’t worry, be happy.

Torture, massacre, extraordinary rendition, hidden gulag of prisons in foreign countries, Guantanamo, and massive violations of international law, American law and the Constitution? Well, you can see why gay marriage is a far greater menace.

Wipe out for the environment; hundreds of regulations and laws changed to favor those who exploit and damage natural resources; all so common, no one is keeping track of them all? Let her rip. Global warming? In the first place, it’s Al Gore’s issue. In the second place, it’s a downer. In the third place, who cares if it’s too late in a few years?

Homeland security/war on terror? With the highly excellent disposition of anti-terror funds once more judiciously applied by the Department of Homeland Security, we truly have nothing to worry about. We’re ready to stop terrorist attacks in Wyoming, and there are no important cultural sites in New York City, so let’s rock.

Though Conservatives seem to have taken it as their unofficial mantra that we should never forget 9.11, it appears that their focus is less on terrorism and the repeat of another tragedy than it is about protecting their friends and the GOP’s well-heeled contributors.

The sad thing is that a majority of the American people have been willing participants in the GOP’s glossing over of what’s really important to the people of this country. If y’all had actually given some thought to what it was that you were voting for, things might be a whole lot different now. So, when you begin to blame Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader and his inept, corrupt Administration for our current state of affairs, take a moment to remember who put him in that position in the first place.

You did.

Still glad you voted Republican??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 13, 2006 6:06 AM.

How to steal an election while convincing people you won fair and square was the previous entry in this blog.

So in other words, it's achieved it's desired purpose- tons of free publicity is the next entry in this blog.

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