St. Paul police cite Sen. Norm Coleman’s father for lewd and disorderly conduct
Gossip Roundup: I Want To Eat Pizza Off Your Naked Body
Norm Coleman Sr., the father of Minnesota’s junior senator, was cited for lewd and disorderly conduct Tuesday after police officers reported finding him engaged in a sex act in a car near a pizzeria on E. 7th St. in St. Paul. A police report said officers were called to Savoy Inn about 6:30 p.m to investigate a report that two people were having sex in a car. The police report stated a woman, Patrizia Marie Schrag, 38, also was cited for lewd and disorderly conduct.
How about we just stop this crazy train right here and now and give Coleman pere a medal? If we were to be perfectly honest, how many of us aren’t hoping at this very minute that we would be capable of such randy activity at age 81? Hey, I have a friend whose dream is “death by blonde”…nothing like checking out with a smile on your face, eh?
OK, so perhaps Mr. Coleman could have picked a more appropriate time and place to steam up the windows of his ‘64 Rambler, but sometimes a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. And at 81, how could we possibly deny the man some fun. Besides, if he can bag a woman 43 years his junior…well, how can a guy do ANYTHING but pat him on the bag and hand him his Viagra? Never mind the fact that if any of us were caught in flagrante delicto with someone 43 years younger…well, that’s some pretty sick stuff, eh?
How about next time you get a room? Or a least a car with tinted windows? You might also give some thought to parking some place that offers a bit more privacy…and also waiting until after sundown. Otherwise, knock yourself out, y’all….
Sen. Coleman issued a statement after learning of the citation against his father.
“I love my father dearly,” the senator said. “I do not condone his actions or behavior, and I am deeply disturbed by what I have learned. He clearly has some issues that need to be dealt with, and I will encourage him to seek the necessary help.”
Well, of course Norm Coleman is going to have come down on the side of the American Taliban’s anti-sex zealots. He’s a Republican…and we all know how much Republicans HATE the idea of someone actually having fun, don’t we? And what “issues” is Sen. Coleman referring to? That his father isn’t “acting his age”? That his father is actually acting like someone enjoying life? What is it about Republicans that make them so anti-sex? It’s not as if Coleman pere was trolling schoolyards, handing candy out to 9-year-old girls and then taking them into his van to meet “Mr. Happy”.
Outside of the poor choice of venue and lousy timing, I’m not really certain just what the crime is here. Then again, we can’t just allow people to have sex anywhere they choose, because then we’d have…ANARCHY! And what about the children??
I can only hope that when I’m 81 I can be an embarrassment to my stepchildren. Maybe not necessarily by doing the horizontal mambo in a car parked outside a pizzeria in broad daylight, but then again, why not? A man’s gotta be able to have some fun….
