I’m on the mailing list for several Minnesota politcal and blogging organizations, seeing as how I grew up in Minnesota and all. I kinda like to keep my hand in affairs of the the Almost Great White North, because, well…it is my home planet, eh? So it was with some amusement that I received this email extolling the virtues of a- get this- blogging fellowship. Yep, we are apparently mainstream now, ‘cuz there are now programs designed to train the masses to sit at their kitchen table in their underwear, posting random screeds about their dateless lifestyle and how much they hate Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader.
OK, now I’m not one to laugh at the prospect of a paying gig, although it would (sadly) involved a significant pay cut. Still, once I complete this fellowship, I would be an OFFICIAL blogger, a citizen journalist heeding the clarion of truth, justice, and the search for a Vanilla Latte and a Maple Nut Scone.
Dear Minnesota Progressive Bloggers,
I wanted to let you know about a pilot program that we are running in Minnesota this year. It’s a great chance to get support, tools, and training to bring your blogging to the next level. We have two tracts: the New Journalist Fellowship Program, and the New Journalist Introductory Program. We’ll be in Minnesota next week to conduct interviews for our Fellowship Program, so please try to get your applications in as soon as possible. I hope you’ll join us on this exciting endeavor! Sincerely,
Ali Savino
Program Director
Center for Independent Media
(Translation: The New Journalist Introductory Program will teach you the difference between Little Green Footballs and Daily Kos. The New Journalist Fellowship Program will teach you how to use key phrases like “naked pictures of Ann Coulter” and “Jerry Falwell teen sex” to drive thousands of curious…OK, horny…readers to your online doorstep.)
The Center for Independent Media is offering several Fellowships in its New Journalist Pilot Program in Minnesota. The pilot program aims to show how citizen driven media can have a powerful impact on the public debate and understand how effective citizen media can be organized and produced in a sustainable way. Candidates should be Minnesota residents with a journalistic focus on Minnesota news, issues, and events. Additionally, the Center for Independent Media is offering an Introductory Program for those who are looking to enter the field of blogging, or who dabble in the art of blogging and would like tools and training to enhance the quality of their material.
(Translation: Enter the field of blogging? What like you need a resume? And as for enhancing the quality of their material, I suggest starting at the beginning: punctuation, capitalization, sentence structure, constructing an argument…basically, LEARN HOW TO WRITE.)
THE FELLOWSHIP PROGRAM
Ideal candidates are independent citizen-journalists reporting on current events and bringing new voices to the public debate via an existing blog. They should strongly believe in the importance of citizen-driven journalism as a critical founding principle of this nation, the positive role of a democratically elected government in securing the good and social welfare, and the continuing benefits of our founding culture of egalitarian government by the people, for the people.
(Translation: It also helps to be unemployed , living with your parents, and harboring a good deal of unresolved, unfocused anger. Readers LOVE angst….)
Individuals selected for the Pilot Program will receive funding, support, training, and mentoring designed to further their journalistic ability online.
(Translation: Individuals selected will be given their choice of psychotropic medications and they will be released into the general populations on alternate weekends.)
The term of a fellowship is 3 months with the possibility of renewal once the term expires. The average fellowship is two three month periods. Fellowships offer:
(Translation: You will bask in the glory of fellowship with other bored, lonely, angry, and computer literate sorts who don’t have the chops to bomb abortion clinics, but will if pressed manage to string together a few coherent sentences on the evils of Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest.)
In exchange, fellows are expected to:
- produce at least 3 blog posts per day on average, an average post size is considered to be 2-3 paragraphs long;
- fulfill goals in original reporting, to be set on an individual basis;
- demonstrate an impact on statewide debate;
- adhere to a set of ethical and journalistic standards;
- participate in all trainings, meetings, and conferences; and
- regularly submit a status report on their blogging endeavors
(Translation: If you can write a total of about 1500 words per day, piss people off statewide, not make stuff up wholesale, and not show up for class smell of alcohol and bad weed…well, then, you’re our man!!)
THE INTRODUCTORY PROGRAM
New Journalism Introductory Program participants receive a full day training in investigative journalism, and a complimentary 90 day trial of LexisNexis. The Introductory Program participants do not receive a stipend.
(Translation: Now you can search da Interweb for naked pictures of Angelina Jolie and Jenna Bush like a pro. Uh, if you’re in training pants in the Introductory Program, you’ll have to buy your own Frosted Flakes.)
ABOUT THE CENTER FOR INDEPENDENT MEDIA
The Center for Independent Media is a not-for-profit organization that fosters diversity of ideas in the national debate by bringing talented and diverse voices and ideas to the fore of our nation’s discourse, through its fellowships, conferences, and research. Programs emphasize the importance of citizen-driven journalism as a critical founding principle of our nation, the positive role of democratically elected government in securing the common good and social welfare, and the continuing benefits of our founding culture of egalitarian government by the people, for the people.
(Translation: We believe that all Americans value their access to naked pictures of celebrities and viral videos. America is a country made great by it’s willingness to embrace it’s lust for cheap porn, celebrity gossip, and negative political advertising. Bloggers can march in the forefront of this movement- and they don’t even have to comb their hair or change out of their pajamas.)
The Center’s fellowships and programs focus on blogs as a fast-growing exemplar of independent media that works to diversity the spectrum of ideas in the national debate.
(Translation: Dude, I just found a buttload of naked pictures of Paris Hilton and Ann Coulter!!!! SWEET!!!!)
Oh, man…sign me up!! ;p)
