August 7, 2006 7:09 AM

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener

DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener #414: Elizabeth Hasselbeck

It’s rare that The View’s resident pretty-but-dumb blonde Elisabeth Hasselbeck says more than 3 seconds worth of right-wing drivel, but when she does, it’s out of passion. Today the ladies (with special guest co-host Lisa Loeb) discussed the over-the-counter availability of morning-after pill Plan B, and of course this sent young Hasselbeck into a tizzy of earnest “life begins at penetration” arguments, getting herself so worked up that her voice slipped into the trying-not-to-cry quiver. Den mother Barbara Walters eventually had to step in and calm the girl down; after the segment, we’re certain that Hasselbeck stomped off to her room and slammed the door. “You’ll never understand me, Barbara! I hate this family! I can’t wait till I go to college and get away from you people!”

Every now and then I run across the true nature of Conservatives in action…and trust me, it ain’t pretty. Elizabeth Hasselback may be The View’s latest iteration of 20-something eye candy, but underneath the pretty packaging is some kind of insensitivity and intolerance. I’ll spare you the blow-by-blow, since you can and probably should watch the video yourself. Life is SO much simpler when you live in a black-and-white world, eh?

The issue of the “morning after” pill is certainly something that evokes strong feelings in some people. Those moral literalists who believe life begins at conception, like Hasselbeck, are more than willing to enforce that view in any circumstance- even rape and incest…as long as it doesn’t happen to them or someone they love (because, well…that’s DIFFERENT). Hasselbeck’s argument that “all life has value” is certainly laudable and arguably accurate, but I wonder how she would feel if she were carrying the seed of rape or incest in her womb for nine months? Something tells me she’d be much less sanguine about accepting her fate in nurturing the life growing inside her. Then again, if you follow this line of thinking, women are little more than sperm receptables and incubators who have no right to or control over their own bodies. That’s the purview of Church and State.

It’s much easier to moralize when you’re dealing in the abstract…which means that you’re talking about decisions and consequences that don’t come close to directly effecting you. Moral clarity and unshakable conviction is SO much easier when you’re making broad pronouncements that will never havee ANY effect on how you live your life and the decisions you make. The problem with thinking in black and white, though, is that life is lived mostly in shades of grey, which is something that moral absolutists like Elizabeth Hasselbeck will never understand.

Perhaps she should just crawl back under the rock from whence she sprang….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 7, 2006 7:09 AM.

Now you can take the same supplement that makes Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader such a clueless, vapid ignoramus!! was the previous entry in this blog.

I suppose we all want to be known for something, eh? is the next entry in this blog.

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