Luggage on a Continental Airlines international flight that arrived Friday morning in Houston included a partial stick of dynamite, apparently undetected at an Argentinian airport where the passenger’s bags were checked. Critics said that the incident — though not deemed a terrorist action — underscores the blind spot in aviation security that has been cause for widespread concern ever since Richard Reid, the so-called “shoe bomber,” tried to ignite an explosive on an international flight into the United States in 2001.
In my continuing series on “Things You Should Most Definitely NOT Take On Board An Airplane”, it sadly is ncessary to include “Dynamite and Other Explosives” on the list. You’d think that this sort of thing would be self-evident. After all, things that go “BOOM” and airplanes have been demonstrated to be incompatible time and time again. So why, then, would a 21-year-old DUMB@$$ pack dynamite in his luggage? Well, because these sorts of things happen when you’re a DUMB@$$, eh?
She Who Endures My Myriad Eccentricities, who’s a mother from head to toe, advocates for Fish as if he were her own son. “He’s just a young kid who made a dumb decision.” Well, that’s debatable, but let’s face facts here, shall we? Fish is an ADULT who made a STOOPID decision…and if there is one thing thing that’s great about being an adult, it’s the reality of having to deal with the consequences of your decisions.
Souvenir or no, YOU DON”T TAKE DYNAMITE ONTO AN AIRPLANE. Period. End of story. If you don’t understand this post-9.11 reality, you’re better off taking a Greyhound bus. Besides, anyone with any sense knows that you should always send dynamite via FedEx, no?
[F]ederal officials have charged Howard McFarland Fish, 21, a college student, with carrying an explosive aboard an aircraft. Fish was being held without bail, pending a hearing in federal court Monday.
Fish arrived at George Bush Intercontinental Airport on Continental Airlines Flight 52 from Buenos Aires about 6 a.m. Friday. According to the U.S. Attorney’s Office, a Customs and Border Protection canine singled out Fish’s luggage.
Customs officers inspected the bags and discovered at least two suspicious items, including the dynamite, in his bags.
Fish told authorities that the items were souvenirs he bought while exploring old mines in Bolivia, according to Mark Mancuso, deputy director of public safety and Technology at the Houston Airport System.
FBI officials interviewed Fish and determined the incident was not an act of terrorism, but did not say whether they have verified Fish’s story.
Perhaps not, but they no doubt verified early on that Fish is a certifiable, Grade A, world class DUMB@$$. This reality has also been confirmed by his father, who apparently holds the title “Grandmaster of the Blindingly Obvious”.
Fish’s father said that he is certain his son intended no harm but keeping the dynamite was instead careless.
“What a stupid, stupid thing to do in today’s world,” his father, also named Howard Fish, told the Associated Press.
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH….
Jeebus, people…one can only assume that this sort of thing is passed down from generation to generation. A little geneological reserach will no doubt reveal that Guy Fawkes is a distant relative of the aforementioned DUMB@$$.
Join us tomorrow, when I’ll be leading a panel discussion entitlted “Why You Might Want to Reconsider Putting Your Hand Grenade Collection In Your Carry-on Bag”. Get there early; it promises to be standing room only….
