August 8, 2006 6:41 AM

At least burqas are still optional

Cleavage crackdown

Texas School District Bans Cleavage

Authoritarian forces in Texas continue their Taliban-like crackdown on all things fun, with a new rule banning cleavage from the hallways of Arlington schools. The new effort to cover the female body reads, “The display of cleavage is unacceptable. Low cut blouses, tops, sweaters, etc. with plunging necklines are not allowed.”

You'll pry these boobs from my cold, dead fingers....I graduated from high school 28 years ago, and I can’t help but think that I distinctly recall this exact same “controversy” raging in 1978. The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? Yep, the reality is that girls dress to attract boys, and boys (of any age) LOVE cleavage. I know…what a shock, eh?

Here in Texas, the narrow-minded don’t just bitch and moan about the world going to Hell in a handbasket. No, the self-righteous and those frightened of anything new, different, and even barely redolent of fun take matters into their own hands. That’s why there will be no boobies showing anywhere in the Arlington Independent School District this year.

SNICKER….

And wouldn’t YOU like to be the adminstrator charged with enforcing the “no cleavage” rule?? Come here, miss. You might be out of compliance, and I really need to more closely fondle assess the situation….

(CBS) ARLINGTON, Texas With a new school year about to begin, some female students in one Texas school district may have to rethink their wardrobes.

Teen fashions often leave parents a little disgruntled. Arlington Independent School District parent Frances Henson said, “I’m thinking that our daughters are growing up a little bit too fast these days.”

Arlington School Board members agree with parents and this summer, they adopted an unusual amendment to the student dress code.

The new dress code reads, in part, “The display of cleavage is unacceptable. Low cut blouses, tops, sweaters, etc. with plunging necklines are not allowed.”

“It’s gotten bad enough that, unfortunately, our young males are looking at more than their English book, their speech book, their science book,” says school board president Sherri Wade. “And it’s kind of nice to have something left to the imagination.”

Wow, I think I just had a “Back to the Future” moment. There’s absolutely NOTHING new about this “problem”. Parents have been kvetching about it since boys began to notice boobies…which would have been somewhere around the dawn of time.

So, what’s a good, God-fearing Texas parent to do in order to protect the honor and virtue of their young daughter? Well, if all else fails, you can always try this:

Uh, wait…no, that wasn’t it. Sorry…. How’bout this?:

Of course, if nothing else works, you could always just send her off to a Catholic girls boarding school in northern Saskatchewan or wrap her in duct tape until she graduates….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 8, 2006 6:41 AM.

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