August 23, 2006 5:57 AM

By any means necessary

Stunned, Scared and Silent: The Bush administration’s reliance on scare tactics — to beat Americans into stunned submission — is becoming outright laughable

We have nothing to fear but fear itself, especially since fear is now being fomented and manipulated for political purposes by a bunch of shameless hacks. Who is trying to make you afraid and why? This Karl Rove tactic is getting quite threadbare, in fact, and so much so that it is getting dangerously close to comedy. My favorite episode, of course, was the Miami terrorists, a fearsome horde of seven described by the FBI’s deputy director as, “More inspirational that operational.” That means wanna-bes. An FBI informant posing as a member of al-Qaida offered to supply the plotters with material for the jihad, so they asked for boots and uniforms. Every terrorist needs a uniform.

Any REAL American knows, of course, that only the Republicans are capable of protecting us from the threat of another 9.11. And how do we know this? Well, because they keep telling us. And if they stay on message with enough conviction and repetition, it will eventually become the truth in the minds of the majority of the American sheeple. Except that in this case, it’s a grotesque, laughable assertion that only a demagogue would make. Then again, these are Republicans we’re talking about here, and these demagogues long ago demonstrated that they will do whatever it takes to keep themselves in office. If it means resorting to lies and fear-mongering, then so be it. (See: 2000 Presidential election (Florida) and 2004 Presidential election (Ohio))

In fact, the lies and fear-mongering have already begun. If you’ve been paying attention to the propaganda rolling off the tongues of Karl Rove, Ken Mehlman, and Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader, then you’ve had but a taste of what’s to come over the next two-plus months. Voting Democratic would be the moral equivalent of voting for al-Qaeda.

As an added bonus, we’ll also be subjected to numerous threats and scares over the next couple of months. The recent foiled bombings in London are a perfect example, as were the recent “terrorist” arrests in Miami. (that’s if the modern equivalent of the Keystone Kops can even honestly be referred to as “terrorists”). Get ready, y’all, because our guv’mint and it’s apologists are gearing up for a full-scale propaganda assault. You’ll see it on television, you’ll read it in the morning papers, you’ll hear it on the radio…it’ll even be all over da Interweb. No turn will remain unstoned in the GOP efforts to convince us that they, and only they, have the chops to protect us from the Evildoers.

Of course, even a nincompoop can succeed occasionally — but the list of wanna-bes keeps growing. Seventeen people were arrested in Canada for intending to behead the prime minister. Has anyone in all of history ever cared that much about a Canadian prime minister? Their national motto is, “Now, let’s not get excited.”

Of the hundreds of prisoners, alleged terrorists all, who have been held at Guantanamo on the grounds that they were the worst of the worst, only 10 have ever been charged with anything. In the latest episode, shortly after announcement of a British-based plot to blow up airliners, Britain and the United States were already airing their differences over when the perpetrators should have been arrested. The administration has put itself in the position of the Boy Who Cried Wolf. If, God forbid, a serious terrorist conspiracy is uncovered, there will be a tendency to dismiss it as a backlash to these over-hyped “plots.”

I personally have been sleeping more soundly at night knowing that Michael Chertoff is secretary of homeland security. Ever since Chertoff’s agency brought us the stunning news that there are more terrorist targets in Indiana than in New York or Washington, I’ve realized this guy could find a terrorist plot anywhere. Watch out for the Amish — they’ll run right over you with those buggies, and they all have pitchforks, too. I hear they’re connected to al-Qaida through Saddam Hussein.

I drove thorough Indiana last fall, and if I hadn’t had to pee, I wouldn’t have had any reason to stop there. I cannot even begin to imagine what interest a terrorist might have in the state…except for maybe the RCA Dome in Indianapolis or the Indianapolis Motor Speedway…and OK, maybe a couple of country fairs here and there.

Should you be suffering a fear shortage despite the administration’s best efforts, consider the paralyzing news of the defeat of Joe Lieberman. According to none other than our very own Veep Dick Cheney, Lieberman’s defeat helps the terrorists. Yes! How can this be, you ask? Well, you know Joe Lieberman has been supporting Bush’s war in Iraq, and we are at war with Iraq because Saddam Hussein was allied to al-Qaida and had weapons of mass destruction, see? He wasn’t? He didn’t? Gee, maybe that’s why the Democrats were upset with Lieberman!

Lieberman’s unhappy fall in electoral battle touched off a volcano of drivel in the media. Some of it should be written off as the incurable Establishment tendency to defend its own. People who have known Joe Lieberman for 18 years are naturally predisposed in his favor — always happens. On the other had, what a bunch of codswallop from people who should know better. They’re behaving as though no one had a right to challenge Lieberman, whereas given his record, I can’t think of anyone who deserved challenge more.

What’s really interesting is this Administration’s barely concealed endorsement of Lieberman (and isn’t there an actual, honest-to-God officially-sanctioned REPUBLICAN running in Connecticut??). I suppose since they recognize the Joe-mentum that Lieberman would bring to the cause of “staying the course”, he’s the best thing to happen to the Republican Party since Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader! And Lieberman is, for all intents and purposes, a Republican, anyway.

Personally, I can’t wait for Election Day. It’s not that I’m all that gung-ho about the mid-term elections…far from it. I’m just sick to death of Republican sloganeering and propagandizing, and at least the passing of the mid-term election will mean that they can turn off the propaganda spigot, even if only for a little while. I’m growing tired of listening to Karl Rove and Ken Mehlman channel Josef Goebbels, especially since they’re doing it in a particularly amateurish and boorish manner.

STILL GLAD YOU VOTED REPUBLICAN??

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About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 23, 2006 5:57 AM.

This week's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us was the previous entry in this blog.

Panem et circenses is not a substitute for poor planning and a lack of vision is the next entry in this blog.

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