August 24, 2006 6:29 AM

Striking fear into the Heart(land)

Indiana: The New Terrorist Target? The Statue of Liberty and the Washington Monument might merit a little more attention than the Wabash Cannonball.

The most cunning refinement yet in the administration’s plot to scare the liver, lights and onions out of us with Tales of Terror Plots is the Department of Homeland Security’s brilliant move to declare Indiana the national center of terrorism, with 8,591 potential targets. Many citizens have questioned the Indiana move — some claiming it is a waste of money trying to stop attacks on the Wabash Cannonball. The Statue of Liberty and the Washington Monument might merit a little more attention. This is precisely why it is better to have Michael Chertoff and Karl Rove making the Homeland Security decisions, rather than Osama bin Laden.

Man, I had NO idea that Indiana was such a target-rich environment for terrorists. Who knew that the Denny’s in Terre haute was in such grave danger? Men and women just going about their daily routine of choking down pancakes and coffee, clogging their arteries in an effort to fortify themselves in order to face another day…whodathunkit that such everyday Americans could be the next target of The Evildoers? Who? Well, I’ll tell you who. Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader and his merry band of propagandists heroes…THAT’S who. Yes, while folks iin Indiana’s 8,591 potential terrorist targets blissfully go about their lives in ignorance of the threats around them, Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader is on the case.

Be not afraid, for as long as we are here to watch over you, your Dennys and IHOPs will remain safe and secure….

Yes, thank GOD for our Glorious Republican Party and their willingness to put it all on the line to keep the American Heartland safe. Too bad they can’t see their way clear to getting us out of Iraq, eh? ‘Course, we’re fighting terrorists there, too…it’s just that we created our very own terrorist threat. Neat trick, eh?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on August 24, 2006 6:29 AM.

Life, liberty...and the pursuit of cheap labor was the previous entry in this blog.

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