If your idea of a great family vacation is sitting blindfolded and bound in a cave while Marxist rebels scream that they’re going to kill you if their ransom demands aren’t met, boy, does Columbia have a tourism package for you
Highly publicised kidnaps, drug-related violence and general lawlessness have kept all but the most intrepid travellers away from Colombia, despite its long list of potential tourist sites including Amazon jungle, historic monuments, high Andean plateaus and white sand beaches. But now the government of President Alvaro Uribe is intent on changing all that. The president’s hardline stance against leftist rebels and the demobilisation of more than 30,000 rightwing paramilitary fighters have seen kidnappings drop 73% and murders fall 37% since Mr Uribe first took office in 2002.
Drug cartels. Political violence. Kidnappings. Insurgents controlling large swaths of territory. No, I’m not talking about Florida. This is Colombia, where every day could be your last. Yes, there’s nothing quite like living on the knife’s edge of terror, and that’s what a vacation in the “new” Colombia. Where else can you experience the terror of being accosted at gunpoint on a busy street, blindfolded, shoved roughly into the back seat of an old car, and then experience a terrifying bumpy ride with a cadre of smelly criminals speaking in rapid-fire Spanish as the scream at the driver and each other? Yes, where else can you experience the thrill of sitting in your own urine and feces as you try to deal with the terror of not knowing when or if you will breath your last?
Yes, if you’re tired of Epcot and Branson, consider Colombia for a vacation experience you will NEVER forget…if you survive. Just make certain that your friends and relatives have quick access to large amount of ready cash, and then watch your cares melt away as you tour Colombia while trying to keep abject fear and terror at bay. My friend, if you’ve never experienced the thrill of combat or the rush of a car bomb, then a Colombian vacation is just the ticket!
Vamos a Dios!!