Molly Ivins: The Not-So-Great Texas Gubernatorial Debate
AUSTIN, Texas—I sacrificed an hour Friday evening to watch the Texas gubernatorial debate on your behalf, since I knew none of you would do it. Democrat Chris Bell looked and sounded like the only candidate who won’t embarrass the state—he was intelligent, well informed and even funny. But the question remains: Can Texas afford to lose that hair? The Coiffure was in his usual form. As one opponent after another attacked his record, Gov. Rick Perry stood there proudly behind that 35 percent voter support he has so richly earned and simply disagreed. The Coiffure seemed to consider blanket denials a fully sufficient and adequate response.
It was a patently ridiculous idea to begin with. A debate on a Friday night during football season in Texas? Was ANYONE using their double-digit IQ to puzzle that one through? Apparently not. Of course, Governor Goodhair and his staff, who knew that he had nothing to gain and everything to lose by engaging in a battle of wits with three unarmed opponents (not that he had any ammunition himself) wanted to find a time slot which would look as if he was serious while exposing to the minimum number of Texans possible. The Coiffure, who didn’t need to debate anyone in order to maintain his solid 35% knee-jerk faithful base, no doubt didn’t want to be there. The other three stooges, who really DID need to debate someone, needed the debate to convince Texans that they have the gravitas to fill the big house in Austin.
I’d love to be able to regale you with war stories from the debate, but that would imply that I actually watched the debate. LIke millions of other Texans, I had better things to do on a Friday night than watch four gubernatorial candidates try not to embarrass themselves. Instead, I’ll let Molly Ivins sort things out for y’all:
One overall impression: It seems to me both Strayhorn and Friedman damaged themselves…. So that leaves us with two Protestant white guys again….
Rick Perry and Chris Bell: Compare and contrast.
Rick Perry has really good hair.
Chris Bell has everything else.
Except for money. Governor Goodhair still has the money…lots and lots of money. And that, on November 7th, will likely prove to be the difference. Again. Yes, mediocrity is no hindrance if you have enough cash on hand.
