November 17, 2006 6:02 AM

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener

Publisher on O.J.: ‘I consider this his confession’

Fuhrman: O.J. ‘Is Out of His Mind’

Grrr! O.J. Simpson’s Back

O’Reilly Blasts O.J. Interview, Falsely Claims ‚Äö√Ñ√≤Fox Broadcasting Has Nothing To Do with Fox News’

DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener #474: O.J. Simpson

There are three things certain in this life: death, taxes and O.J. Simpson grabbing headlines with his idiocy. In case you’re among the many who mute your television sets at the very sight of his Juiceness, he’s back again to sell something. The last time we saw O.J. he was trying to sell an Internet-based reality show around his life on the links, among other things. This time he’s selling a book, called “If I Did It,” which is being billed by Simpson as a how-to guide to murdering his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman — if he did it.

Twelve-plus years later, he could have- and should have- just faded away. He could have lived his life as the pariah he is, albeit one slowly and deservedly fading from the public memory. O.J. Simpson could simply have continued his “search” for his ex-wife’s killer on golf courses throughout south Florida…but, no, you just can’t keep a good DUMB@$$ down, can you? And apparently you can only play so much golf before you become bored enough to make some very stupid decisions.

Jeebus, how astoundingly ignorant can a man be? You get your sorry ass acquitted for the double murder you quite likely committed, and even though you were found liable for the deaths in a civil suit, you’re pulling your driver out of your bag instead of sitting in an electric chair. You’d think that would be enough for you? Right? Well, if it were, we’d be celebrating a different DUMB@$$ right about now, wouldn’t we?

Apparently having been out of the limelight for awhile now has been rather hard on Simpson, so he went and wrote a book. And it’s not just any book. “If I Did It” may or may not be his twisted version of a confession (he’s protected by double jeopardy), but whatever else it may be, it seems a thinly-veiled attempt at some serious media-whoring.

What in the HELL was Simpson thinking? Well, first of all, it may be a stretch to assume that there was any sort of actual, honest-to-God critical thinking taking place.

Jeebus, what a DUMB@$$….

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) — O.J. Simpson created an uproar Wednesday with plans for a TV interview and book titled “If I Did It” — an account the publisher pronounced “his confession” and media executives condemned as revolting and exploitive.

Fox, which plans to air an interview with Simpson Nov. 27 and 29, said Simpson describes how he would have committed the 1994 slayings of his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend Ronald Goldman, “if he were the one responsible.”….The book goes on sale Nov. 30….

Simpson was acquitted in 1995 of murder after a trial that became an instant cultural flashpoint and a source of racial tension. The former football star was later found liable for the deaths in a wrongful-death suit filed by the Goldman family. In the years since, he has been mocked relentlessly by late-night comedians, particularly for his vow to hunt down the real killers.

In Simpson’s case, I’m not altogether certain that a DUMB@$$ AWARD does justice to his depraved indifference to the pain of the Goldman and Brown families and his self-absorbed media whoring. No, Simpson would undoubtedly be a strong candidate for one of Keith Olbermann’s Worst Person In The World awards. It would certainly be a fitting and deserved tribute, no?

All Simpson had to do was just keep his mouth shut…and to think that men and boys used to worship the ground he trod upon. What a DUMB@$$.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on November 17, 2006 6:02 AM.

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