Heart Attack Grill’s naughty nurses upset real caregivers
TEMPE, Ariz. ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ The Heart Attack Grill — a theme restaurant whose specialties include the Quadruple Bypass Burger and Flatliner Fries, cooked in pure lard — is making health-care professionals’ blood pressure rise, and not because of the menu. It is because of the waitresses’ naughty nurse uniforms. The waitresses wear skimpy, cleavage-baring outfits, high heels and thigh-high stockings — a male fantasy that some nursing organizations say is an insult to the profession. Several nurses have complained to the Arizona attorney general’s office, and a national nursing group repeatedly has asked Heart Attack Grill owner Jon Basso to stop using the outfits.
Part of me wishes that I’d heard about this before I went to Phoenix last month. My business took me to Tempe, but then I’m not a big fan of Hooters or cheap imitations thereof…and besides, the sexist misogynistic restaurant thing is SO 2005. It would be one thing if the Heart Attack Grill was known for it’s food, but, like Hooters, it’s a gimmick. ‘Course, I’ve never eaten at the Heart Attack Grill, and I doubt I ever will. I’m not much for gimmicks (And it’s not as if this is the first gimmick restaurant in Phoenix- see Pink Taco. Yeah, I missed that one also.).
Still, I have to hand it to Basso for giving rise to my new all-time favorite phrase: nutritional pornography. Truly, I am in the presence of greatness….
Instead of getting their panties in a wad, perhaps nurses would be better off simply ignoring the Heart Attack Grill. Now their faux indignation has netted Basso and his restaurant tons of free publicity. So much for needing an advertising budget…. Left to his own devices, Basso’s restaurant may have been a local phenomenon, but it likely wouldn’t have gone much farther. Now nurses have unwittingly turned the Heart Attack Grill into a national sensation. How long will it be before Basso franchises it and sells the concept to PepsiCo for a sum sufficient for him to buy a small island nation?
Don’t get me wrong; I can understand why nurses are upset, but nurses being fantasized about is hardly news. Why should something that capitalizing on that fantasizing be the stuff of outrage?
“Nurses are the most sexually fantasized-about profession,” said Sandy Summers, executive director of the Center for Nursing Advocacy, based in Baltimore. “We’re asking people, if they’re going to have these fantasies, please don’t make it so public. Move these sexual fantasies to other professions.”
Basso shrugs off Summers’ complaints, and refers to her and her supporters as prudes, cranks and lunatics.
“If anything, I think it glorifies nurses to be thought of as a physically attractive and desirable individual,” Basso said. “There’s a Faye Dunaway, Florence Nightingale hipness to it. Nobody wants to think of themselves as some old battle ax who changes bedpans for a living.”
Hmm…Jenny McCarthy? Or Nurse Ratched?? Now there’s a career choice I’d hate to have to make.
The most serious complaint Basso has faced was made to the Arizona attorney general’s office by the state Board of Nursing. In September, the attorney general’s office wrote Basso a letter informing him that he is illegally using the word “nurse” at his restaurant and on his Web site. Citing Arizona Statute A.R.S. 32-1636, the attorney general said only someone who has a valid nursing license can use the title “nurse.”
Basso refused to remove “nurse” from his Web site but inserted an asterisk next to every nurse reference and included the following disclaimer:
“The use of the word ‘nurse’ above is only intended as a parody. None of the women pictured on our Web site actually have any medical training, nor do they attempt to provide any real medical services. It should be made clear that the Heart Attack Grill and its employees do NOT offer any therapeutic treatments (aside from laughter) whatsoever.”
Basso’s statement goes on to say that “I am not now, nor have I EVER been a member of the Communist Party. I am not a homosexual, nor have I ever smoked marijuana. I have, however consumed alcohol to excess and have had recurring fantasies about Jenna and Barbara Bush…and Barney.” Don’tcha just LOVE America??
Memo to nurses everywhere: LET IT GO. No, you may not like the concept of Basso’s restaurant, but free speech being what it is, you don’t have to like it. If you ignore him, he and his restaurant will quite likely eventually be consigned to the obscurity they so richly deserve. By complaining loud and long, you’ve ensured that Basso gets his fifteen minutes…PLUS a lot of free advertising- publicity of the sort he never could have afforded himself. Before long, you will quite likely find yourself facing a nationwide chain of Heart Attack Grills…and then what?
Basso said the complaints have been good for business: “All they’ve done is ensure there’s going to be a gajillion of these all over the country.”
Indeed…methinks y’all doth protesteth a wee bit too much. Let it go…and maybe with any luck Basso’s restaurant will die on the vine once people become bored with cheap Hooters knock-offs selling mediocre food.
