NEW YORK — The players’ association filed two unfair labor practice charges Friday against the NBA over issues with the new ball and the league’s crackdown on player complaints. The charges were filed with the National Labor Relations Board.
Man, ya just gotta feel for the poor, oppressed hyperglandular drones in the NBA, don’tcha? Not only do they have to wear short pants while chasing a ball up and down a hardwood floor a couple nights a week, their work environment has just become significantly more repressive. This season, the league introduced a new ball, and-even worse- officials have been instructed to crack down on the pissing and moaning that traditionally and immediately follows a foul call. (Et tu, Rasheed Wallace??)
How DO the players do it? Not only are they subject to the scrutiny and criticism of sportswriters and fans, now they’ve been told by The Man that they can no longer express themselves. SHUT UP AND MAKE THE DONUTS!! How can a man work under such
And then there’s the new ball. After something like 50 years of leather balls (yes, it really did used to take leather balls to play professional basketball), the NBA introduced a new synthetic ball this season. Much like recalcitrant children, professional athletes DO NOT LIKE change. Sure, I would imagine that the new ball does feel different. Nonetheless, it’s still round, it’s still orange, and it still bounces. Shut up and play…game on, eh?
NBA Commissioner David Stern decided that he was tired of all the bitching and caterwauling that occurred after a foul was called. Having played the game myself, I understand that no basketball player EVER thinks they’re committed a foul. Their opponent could be bleeding to death in front of them while they hold a bloody knife, and the player would be claiming that their opponent ran into the knife all by himself. Yeah, right. Again…shut up and play, willya?
Man, if one of the biggest problems you have in your pampered, cushy existence is a ball you don’t like and your employer telling you to SHUT UP AND MAKE THE DONUTS…well, you don’t have much to worry about do you? You make millions of dollars for playing a kid’s game; do you really have ANYTHING to complain about? If the other big problem is that the new NBA basketball isn’t to your liking and that the referees are no longer willing to listen to your whining and crying, well…call me silly, but you’re leading a charmed existence, don’tcha think??
How about y’all just shut up and play already?