Flatulence leads U.S. jet to divert (thanks to Richard DuBoff!)
An American Airlines plane made an emergency landing in Nashville after passengers reported the smell of sulphur from burning matches. The matches were found on the seat of a woman who had attempted to conceal the odour of flatulence with the matches, Nashville airport authorities said. All 99 passengers and five crew left the plane while it was searched. The woman was questioned by the FBI but released without charge and allowed to board another American Airlines flight. “It was determined that she was trying to conceal body odour,” said Lynne Lowrance of the Nashville Airport Authority. She had “no malicious intent but had struck matches which is against [Transport Security Administration] rules,” Ms Lowrance said.
Rule #1: stay away from the refried beans before boarding a plane. As a consideration to your fellow passengers, kindly keep in mind that y’all are going to be stuck on an enclosed metal tube. What happens on board is, unfortunately, going to stay on board- the gift that keeps on giving, if you will. It may not kill, but by the end of the flight, most passengers likely will be wishing they were dead.
Richard Reid put a bomb in his shoe, so TSA makes us take off our shoes as we go through security. The ban on liquids was in response to an alleged threat involving liquid explosives. God only knows what will happen once the pointy heads at Homeland Security discover that the next deadly weapon in the terrorist arsenal is…wait for it…the fart. I shudder to think what going through a security checkpoint might involve in response to that threat.
Ma’am, that’s not a burrito….IT’S A WEAPON OF MASS MURDER!!!
