January 25, 2007 7:57 AM

A day late, but the entertainment value is still fresh

Dog-whistle politics

OK, so it’s a day late, but Concussion Boy © is back…and I can smell the snark. Thanks to all of my readers for the kind words and good wishes. I’m still pretty sore, I feel as if I have the IQ of a walnut, and I’m not relishing the idea of getting behind the wheel again, but I’m thankful to be largely intact. It’s a helluva way to win a five-day weekend, eh??

Yes, today’s going to be a GOOD day. I’m home nursing my poor, battered brain back to something resembling normalcy (Uh, doctor?? I think the patient’s frontal porn lobe has been damaged beyond repair….), and I have nothing better to do than to release my pent-up frustration upon my poor, unsuspecting readers. Yeah…it was either that, or kick a dog or three. So, without further ado…my belated analysis of the madness that was the State of the Union address:

VIDEO: The Annotated State Of The Union: Just in case you didn’t have time to do your own fact-checking (and who does these days?), here’s a handy guide to what Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © said and what objective reality actually is. As you might imagine, there are some gaps you could drive an F-250 through. I know; gee, what a shock, eh??

Was Bachmann out of line last night?: This is creepy…. Former DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener, baby farmer, and freshman Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann (R-Jesusland) did everything but get down on her knees and service Our Glorious and Benvolent Leader © on the floor of the House of Representatives. KSTP appears to have taken down the video (it seems the traffic boogered up their server), but you can still see Bachmann attempting to grope Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © here. You’d think that if she was really serious about basking in reflected glory, she wouldn’t pick someone whose popularity is hovering in the Nixon-like low 30s. Oh, and next time…bring a pair of kneepads.

Pelosi eyeblinks clocked at 25-30 per minute…: And if you were paying attention, Pelosi’s hands were in her lap and out of view…yet she always had a smile on her face. Hmm…. Hey, I’m not insinuating anything, but ya gotta wonder, eh?? Perhaps Dick Cheney was scowling because he was trying to figure out where the moaning was coming from.

Webb: If Bush Doesn’t Take The ‚Äö√Ñ√≤Right Kind Of Action‚Äö√Ѭ∂We Will Be Showing Him The Way’: Which, if there is any justice in this here world, that way will be straight into an orange prison jumpsuit in a federal lockup.

Cheney and Pelosi Do the Two-Party Two-Step: So, you’re sitting behind Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © during his 49-minute propaganda fest State of the Union address. You’ve got to know that the eyes of the nation are upon you, examining your every tic, smile, and sigh for hidden meaning and nuance- ‘cuz Lord knows the speech was a snoozefest. What to do when one side of the aisle (Republicans) begin to clap over something the other side (Democrats) oppose and refuse to stand for? And vice-versa? Man, trying to figure out that minuet sure beat the Hell out of listenting to Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © , didn’t it??

Louisiana Governor Lashes Out at Bush: Apparently, one hopeless cause (Iraq) was all Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © could handle. Those mired in the other lost and hopeless cause (New Orleans and the Gulf Coast) can, to paraphrase Vice-President Dick Cheney, “go f—k themselves.” It’s telling, though, that Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader didn’t say a single word about the victims of Hurricane Katrina, this just 16 months after standing under klieg lights in jackson Square and pledging to help put New Orleans and the Gulf Coast back together again. That was then; this is now. Katrina is SO 2005 and SO over….

VIDEO: Audience Snubs Bush Attack Line, Cheney Gives Standing Ovation: Well, we know Laura and Barney love Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © ; I guess we can add another fan to a very short list.

Congressional fashion, fair and balanced: “FOX News’s Brian Wilson just informed us that the major color tonight among the lady’s outfits this SOTU is purple (‘I’m seeing a lot of purple’). He then stated that Nancy Pelosi will be wearing a ‘sea foam green’ outfit. Brit Hume then chimed in to say that Pelosi had intended to wear a different jacket (he asked her about this earlier today), but then spilled chocolate on it, hence the sea-foam green jacket. No news on the fellas’ outfits.”…. Now THERE’S some hard-hitting journalism, eh?? Iraq, the economy, health care…ah, Hell, what color are Pelosi’s panties??

In Address, Bush Insists U.S. Must Not Fail in Iraq: Uh, sorry…but that horse left the barn long ago. Even Google thinks so.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 25, 2007 7:57 AM.

PETA's State of the Union is...well...nekkid was the previous entry in this blog.

Since when have "politicians" and "courage" ever been used in the same sentence? is the next entry in this blog.

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