McCain Campaign Steals Rudy’s Secret Strategery Plans
Revealed: Rudy’s ‘08 battle plans
It’s clearly laid out in 140 pages of printed text, handwriting and spreadsheets: The top-secret plan for Rudy Giuliani’s bid for the White House. The remarkably detailed dossier sets out the budgets, schedules and fund-raising plans that will underpin the former New York mayor’s presidential campaign - as well as his aides’ worries that personal and political baggage could scuttle his run. At the center of his efforts: a massive fund-raising push to bring in at least $100 million this year, with a scramble for at least $25 million in the next three months alone. The loss of the battle plan is a remarkable breach in the high-stakes game of presidential politics and a potentially disastrous blunder for Giuliani in the early stages of his campaign.
He’s on his third wife, and he’s cheated on at least one of his wives. His divorces have been public events, and his living arrangements while mayor of New York raised more than a few eyebrows. He’s pro-choice, and surprisingly tolerant on social issues. AND HE’S A REPUBLICAN!! Yeah, if you’re thinking what I am…that he’ll never survive the primaries because the Party religious nutjob wing will view him as akin to Satan’s minion…this should all be much ado about nothing.
Personally, I’m not all that surprised or disturbed by the discovery of Giuliani’s campaign strategy. It’s the same thing that any candidate goes through when determining whether to run for President. Mounting a Presidential campaign is no small undertaking, so thoroughly analyzing the possibilities only makes sense. It’s not as if Giuliani is advocating invading Iraq or passing legislation to keep brain-dead attractive White women on life support. Uh…wait…we’ve already done that, haven’t we??
What I’m particularly interested in is how Giuliani plans on appealing to the GOP’s religious wing without completely selling himself out. His marital record is there for everyone to see, and it’s not as if he’s going to be able to spin his infidelity to his favor. His support of abortion rights certainly isn’t going to increase the comfort levels of Evangelicals with the possibility of Giuliani being the Republican sword-carrier in 2008.
From where I sit, Giuliani’s campaign blueprint falling into the wrong hands is the least of the candidate’s problems. In a party that values lockstep ideological, moral, and ethical fealty, Giuliani is a square peg in search of a round hole. This ought to be interesting.
Then again, if Giuliani wants to have a legitimate shot, he should probably watch and learn from John McCain, who is quickly morphing into a frothing-at-the-mouth Evangelical nutjob. As with most GOP primary seasons, it’s a race to the Right. In case you were wondering what the 2008 field of GOP Leader of the Free World wannabes looks like, let’s break it down for you, shall we??
Rudy Giuliani: Twice-divorced opera-loving gay-roommate-having cross-dressing show-tune-dancing Manhattan dandy.
John McCain: Dangerous would-be totalitarian psychopath Jesus Freak S&L crook who can’t stay married or sober or control the terrible voices in his head.
Mitt Romney: Mormon, which either means terrific personal morals or scary cult magic-underwear polygamist.
Duncan Hunter: Toupee-wearing tax cheat who may or may not be wiped out by his buddy Duke Cunningham’s Hookergate.
Michael Bloomberg: Actually a New York Jewish Democrat who runs the Main Stream Media.
Newt Gingrich: Sociopathic pornographer and serial adulterer who divorces his many wives the moment they get the cancer.
Sam “Brokeback” Brownback: Enjoys sexytime sleepovers at men’s prisons.
Mike Huckabee: Committed to living out the movie “Old School.”
And it’s only early 2007! Primary season is still more than a year away. I can’t wait. Can’t you just FEEL the pandering, the hypocrisy, and the holier-than-thou chest-thumping?? Aren’t you excited about rediscovering the reality that Republicans really DO eat their young? Man, this oughtta be fun….
