February 18, 2007 7:35 AM

Hey, c'mon now; if it was so important, how come it's not in the Bible??

Texas Republicans are anti-Copernicus

Warren “Anti-CopernicaChisum”

Chisum Memo

Fixed Earth

t’s not surprising that the earth doesn’t move for Warren Chisum, and maybe it’s not surprising that he blames a Jewish conspiracy for it. Still, it’s enough to set the world a-spinning that the chairman of the House Appropriations Committee, the most powerful committee in the House, distributed to legislators a memo pitching crazed wingers who believe the earth stands still — doesn’t spin on its axis or revolve around the Sun — that Copernicus was part of a Jewish conspiracy to undermine the Old Testament. That would be the same Old Testament that was written by the folks Chisum’s friends say are conspiring to undermine it. Chisum has no problem believing that GOP interests revolve around the pocketbooks of its wealthy contributors. And that’s why he wants to take dollars stolen from middle class Texans in higher tuition, double-taxed highways, underpaid teachers, sick kids and teachers and cut property taxes for those who own a lot of property — businesses and the very, very wealthy.

It should come as no surprise to anyone who knows anything at all about Texas politics that the Texas Republican Party is controlled by a cabal of Right-wing, apocalyptic nutjobs. After all, this truth has been the reality for years. These folks really believe that George W. Bush was anointed by God to be President, and that he’s doing the Lord’s work. Who knew that wasting the lives of American soldiers was “the Lord’s work”, eh?

Every now and then, though, a story comes along that makes even a jaded observer like myself say “WTF….??” This is right at the top of that list. Just when you think that Texas’ legislators actually are lucid, reasonable adults, along comes Warren Chisum. Jeebus, is this some DUMB@$$-grade material or what??

Welcome to the Great State of Texas, where money not only talks, it also buys Republican legislators. What would Jesus do? He’d vote Republican, of course!

Why fund public schools or keep colleges available to the middle class if they are filling our children’s heads with damaging Kabbalistic fantasies? (Yes, Copernicus, Darwin et al are part of a Kabbalistic Conspiracy according to the fixed-earth crowd).

Gravity (Pft!), night and day (bah!), biological reproduction (ugh!). Who needs such immoral ideas corrupting our kids? No, spend the money on those with more visible signs of God’s Blessing. The Elect. The ones with the money.

I hope Chisum has the decency to appropriate a little more for velcro, though. I’m worried about the gravity thing.

Indeed….

Man, I had NO idea that God’s blessings accrued so disproportionately to the wealthy. Maybe being poor really IS God’s way of telling you that you need to get off your ass and get to work, eh? If you were really right with God, you’d have money in your bank account, a membership at River Oaks Country Club (and a single-digit handicap), and a Lexus (or three) parked in your driveway.

The really great thing is that if you’re wealthy enough, you can believe whatever you choose to. If you’re lucky, you might even be able to get the Legislature to force Texas’s public schools to teach to our children. Remember, it’s only indoctrination if you’re a Librul….

blog comments powered by Disqus

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 18, 2007 7:35 AM.

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener was the previous entry in this blog.

This week in Stoopid is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Contact Me

Powered by Movable Type 5.12