February 25, 2007 8:52 AM

Ohmigod!! What about the children??

‘Pelvis thrusts’ catapult Chippendales dancers to jail

LUBBOCK, Texas ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ A troupe of Chippendales dancers won’t face criminal charges for a West Texas performance featuring “pelvic thrusts” that prompted police to shut down the show and jail the dancers. The Lubbock County District Attorney’s Office told police Thursday that eight dancers, their manager, a promoter and a manager at the sports bar won’t be prosecuted on misdemeanor charges, and city officials also said they wouldn’t pursue the case. The men were arrested Feb. 16 at Jake’s Sports Cafe during the first of three sold-out shows for the troupe famous for it’s beefcake dancers. Police alleged that the dancers were performing a sexually oriented show without the proper permits. The show was shut down after one dancer, whom police said has his pants open, made “pelvic thrusts” in front of a woman’s face.

Thank GOD for the brave, God-fearing public servants with the Lubbock County District Attorney’s Office. Yes, they’ve decided not to pursue charges against the lewd and lascivious actions performed by the Chippendale dancers. What they’ve succeeded in doing is to focus on the attention on the problem that is public pelvic thrusting. What these brave and dedicated public servants have accomplished is nothing short of heroic…for only when our womenfolk are protected from the threat of buff men thrusting their pelvises at their face will their virtue be safe (so we can thrust our pelvises in their face, no doubt).

No doubt the outrage could be heard far and wide across the plains of West Texas. No, the Chippendales aren’t going to be punished for the lewd and lascivious behavior, but the Lubbock County District Attorney’s Office has drawn their metaphorical line in the sand. This sort of sinful, suggestive behavior may work in Midland, Abilene, and maybe even in Odessa, but the people of Lubbock have standards, and they don’t need buff, highly-conditioned studs waving their groove thangs in the faces of the local womenfolk. I mean; that’s what their husbands are for….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 25, 2007 8:52 AM.

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