A baking sheet stained with what some believe is an image of the Virgin Mary will be returned to the lunchroom worker who found it. The decision came after days of administration-level discussions within the Houston Independent School District about who is the rightful claimant. Guadalupe Rodriguez discovered the image while washing the sheet at Pugh Elementary on Ash Wednesday. She showed it to co-workers, who showed it to their boss and then to the principal, all of whom said they recognized the familiar shape of Our Lady of Guadalupe emblazoned on it.
It’s amazing the things that people can see the image of Jesus in, isn’t it? In fact, just this morning, after I stepped out of the shower and was standing in front of the mirror, I noticed that my underarm hair was twisted in such a way that it looked just like the Son of God His Own Self. Before I could figure out how I was going to cash in, the moment passed, and I ended up getting dressed as I do every morning. Just like that, my financial future had flashed before my eyes. Looking back on it, I realized that I would have had to stand topless and stock still with my arm up in the air while the faithful filed past and marveled at the miracle of my armpit. OK, so it might have been fun at first, but I think it probably would have grown old quickly.
Never mind the fact that it would have been supremely wierd having people filing past me, staring in rapt fascination at my armpit. Ewwww….
You might have surmised by now that I think this whole phenomenon is total crap. If it’s not the face of Jesus in frying pans, grilled cheese sandwiches, coffee grounds, window condensation, or baby barf, someone somewhere is getting their 15 minutes for claiming that they’ve seen the face of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, or Dick Cheney in something unusual.
Give me a &)^%$#@ break, willya??
Soon, people heard of the image and flocked to the school. The crowds became a safety issue, and administrators decided to give the baking sheet to the PTA, which placed it on an outdoor altar, surrounded by roses and prayer candles, at the nearby house of a student’s parent.
Hundreds of believers dealing with disease, death and heartache have flocked to the house near Hahlo and Arapahoe on the city’s east side to view the baking sheet.
But some cafeteria workers were miffed. The kitchen manager, Coralia Pacay, said she wanted the sheet returned. Later, Rodriguez decided she wanted it herself.
Principal Lydia Guerrero eventually brokered a deal by which Rodriguez could keep the pan but the PTA mothers will be allowed to display it this weekend. On Saturday, district officials said they didn’t know the cost of the sheet, one of dozens used to bake cookies, pizza and chicken nuggets.
Rodriguez will pick up the sheet Monday morning. She plans to create her own altar so people can view it.
Nearing 60, she has been working most of her life and talking with God just as long, she said. On Wednesday, she pulled the sheet from the cold rinse, she said, and saw the image. Her hope is that the image will bring peace to those who see it.
“It is for us to stop, and think,” she said. “That there is a God.”
There may well be a God, but somehow I think He has better things to do with His time than hang out on a baking sheet. ‘Course, I’m just a heathen and an unbeliever, so what the Hell do I know? Then again, you can bet I’ll be looking closely at my armpit tomorrow morning when I get out of the shower. And if I see the face of Jesus again…well, ALERT THE MEDIA!!! I’ll be getting my 15 minutes AND my two bits. Just take a number and get in line. Visa, Mastercard, and Discover WILL be accepted….
