Police blotter: Teens prosecuted for racy photos: Combine unsupervised teenagers, digital cameras and e-mail, and, given sufficient time, you’ll end up with risque photographs on a computer somewhere. There’s a problem with that: Technically, those images constitute child pornography. That’s what 16-year-old Amber and 17-year-old Jeremy, her boyfriend, both residents of the Tallahassee, Fla., area, learned firsthand…. Yes, it’s true; we’re now prosecuting children for sexually exploiting THEMSELVES. File this one under “Today’s sign that the Apocalypse is upon us.”
Idaho firefighters arrive at burning house; find owner naked, covered in Magic Marker: When fire crews arrived to the blaze, which started at about 9:30 p.m. at 925 Jefferson Ave., they saw homeowner Darrell Moss lighting a fire outside his home, according to a police report. The 57-year-old was naked and had red Magic Marker writing all over his chest and legs, with one drawing depicting a heart with an arrow through it, the report stated. Fire personnel tried to get Moss away from the house because ammunition was going off inside, but he wouldn’t cooperate and started fighting with police. Authorities had to restrain Moss by strapping him to an ambulance backboard…. You know, sometimes letting the place burn to the ground ain’t such a bad idea.
New York State Bill Would Ban Spinners: New York State is taking fresh legal steps to ban spinning hubcaps and wheels. Bill Number 1640 is presently being considered by the Senate Transportation Committee, and it would make such wheels illegal statewide. The bill was introduced previously, but it is now gaining traction after being reintroduced by State Senator John Sabini. The measure would fine vehicle owners up to $750 for a third (or subsequent) violation…. In a world of scarce law-enforcement resources, I’m not certain I even possess a vocabulary adequate to describe how phenomenally STOOPID this idea is. Jeebus…could it be that legislators in New York just have too damn much time on their hands??
Kansas repeals science guidelines questioning evolution: Kansas has repealed public school science guidelines questioning the theory of evolution that brought the state international ridicule, but educators aren’t sure how long it will be before the decision is overturned….This begs the question, I suppose: are we educating our children or indoctrinating and propagandizing them to becomes Holy Warriors in the war against heathens and unbelievers?
Police: Woman ties up lover, drinks his blood: Tiffany Sutton apparently wanted to drink up her lover on Valentine’s Day - literally, authorities said. Police early this morning arrested Sutton, who they believe may have tricked her acquaintance into having “kinky sex” so she could drink his blood. The victim, 45, and Sutton, 23, were lying in bed naked early Wednesday when Sutton asked if he wanted to be tied up and he consented, police said. But that’s when Sutton reportedly pulled out a knife and cut the victim’s leg, police said. Sutton reportedly told him that she “likes to drink blood” and made several cuts to his upper body, police said…. And the poor guy had been thanking his lucky stars because he was about to boink someone half his age. Everything comes with a price, eh??
One man’s viewing pleasure was the cause of another man’s alarm: [A] man kicked in his neighbor’s door and threatened him with a sword. The caller said the subject lived downstairs with his mother. Police made contact with the neighbor, a 39-year-old man, who told them he heard a woman screaming from upstairs and feared she was being sexually assaulted…. You know, sometimes a guy just wants to unwind on a Sunday morning with some porn. Is that too much to ask??
