March 5, 2007 6:26 AM

Today's sign that the Apocalypse is upon us

BREAKING: RICK SANTORUM’S CRYING DAUGHTER TO HOST LATE-NIGHT FOX SHOW

Rick Santorum Joins Fox News

FishbowlDC has learned that former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum’s sad, sad little girl has signed on to be a contributor to Fox News Channel.

Wow…is this exciting news or what!? Prior to this, Little Ricky was at least somewhat constrained by the realities of electoral politics. What I mean by that is that every time he’d open his mouth, some reporter would be praying, offering their soul to their God OR the Devil, if one of them would convince Santorum to offer up one of his trademark stupid, half-assed, I’m-dumber-than-a-box-of-hair sound bites. Now Santorum no longer has to answer to voters, especially since he’ll be preaching to the faithful, those drooling acolytes who thinks the truth emanates unmassaged from Rupert Murdoch’s Conservative “news” channel. Hey, the Soviets had Pravda; Republicans have Fox News Channel. Little Ricky will be a fantastic addition to a Fox lineup already bursting at the seams with ignorant, misogynistic, hateful trolls willing to say or do whatever seems necessary to drive up ratings.

I can hardly wait for “Little Ricky’s Prime-Time Wholesome Christian Home-schooling News” to debut. Talk about a comedy gold mine. Really. If you think about it, the only way Fox News Channel is any good at comedy is when they do it unintentionally…and it doesn’t get any better than this, eh??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 5, 2007 6:26 AM.

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