April 1, 2007 10:19 AM

This is gonna bring a whole new meaning to "multi-tasking", eh??

Google announces free in-home wireless broadband service: “Dark porcelain” project offers self-installed plumbing-based Internet access

MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif., April 1, 2007 - Google Inc. (NASDAQ: GOOG) today announced the launch of Google TiSP (BETA)‚Äö√묢, a free in-home wireless broadband service that delivers online connectivity via users’ plumbing systems. The Toilet Internet Service Provider (TiSP) project is a self-installed, ad-supported online service that will be offered entirely free to any consumer with a WiFi-capable PC and a toilet connected to a local municipal sewage system. For years, data carriers have confronted the “last hundred yards” problem for delivering data from local networks into individual homes. Now Google has successfully devised a “last hundred smelly yards” solution that takes advantage of preexisting plumbing and sewage systems and their related hydraulic data-transmission capabilities. “There’s actually a thriving little underground community that’s been studying this exact solution for a long time,” says [Google Co-founder and President Larry] Page. “And today our Toilet ISP team is pleased to be leading the way through the sewers, up out of your toilet and - splat - right onto your PC.” Users who sign up online for the TiSP system will receive a full home self-installation kit, which includes a spindle of fiber-optic cable, a TiSP wireless router, installation CD and setup guide. Home installation is a simple matter of GFlushing‚Äö√묢 the fiber-optic cable down to the nearest TiSP Access Node, then plugging the other end into the network port of your Google-provided TiSP wireless router. Within sixty minutes, the Access Node’s crack team of Plumbing Hardware Dispatchers (PHDs) should have your internet connection up and running.

Ever since we ditched the pokey dial-up connection for a cable modem, I’ve been wondering what the next step is…and who will be the visionaries that will lead us there? Well, as it turns out, Google is stepping up to the plate…and it looks like the have a winner.

OK, so the initial installation is a…well…messy process, once you’re through that inconvenient reality, it’s just a matter of going with the flow, as it were. No longer will you have to flush money away on an expensive cable connection. Since most of the Internet is crap anyway, this seems like a product that will finally embrace the symmetry between plumbing and the Information Superhighway.

Hey…it’s free…and free is still a VERY good price, no?? Best of all, you don’t need a Master’s degree in computer science (or even a plumber’s crack) to install TISP. You might want to keep a couple extra rolls of toilet paper on hand, though- at least until all the bugs are coded out of the beta edition. It might be a little messy at first, but you could be the first on your block to harness the power of indoor plumbing as a home broadband data network.

Our installation kit arrives tomorrow. I can hardly wait!!

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on April 1, 2007 10:19 AM.

It's 485,460 calories. It's anatomically correct and well-hung. But is it art?? (Or, score another one for the trolls) was the previous entry in this blog.

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