New Nut To Join Comical Race For GOP Nomination
Is Ron Paul too rational for you? Unconvinced by Mitt Romney’s commitment to personally fund all abortions? Has Tom Tancredo failed to keep the Mexicans out of your town? Republican primary voters, meet your new nut: It’s Senator Tom Coburn from the great state of Oklahoma!
Man, just when I’d begun to fear that the field of Republican Presidential candidates couldn’t POSSIBLY become any whiter, more toxic, more xenophobic, or more intellectually vacant…well, guess who just got hisself proved wrong!! Oh, man…Tom Coburn running for President would be a Liberal blogger’s wet dream. The man is a walking, talking, parody of himself; virtually all he has to do is to open his mouth and the ignorance, self-righteousness, and sheer stupidity just pours forth like water over a dam.
I don’t believe in God, but I’d be willing to say a few prayers and a few “Hail Marys”- anything to convince Coburn to run. Please, please, please….PLEASE???? My Goodness, the comic relief potential of a Coburn candidacy would be THROUGH THE ROOF. It would be like taking candy from a baby. My God, Tom Coburn is the sort of DUMB@$$ that those who devote their lives to earning their own DUMB@$$ AWARD model themselves after. Generations of graduate-level aspiring DUMB@$$E$ will write their Ph.D. theses on the barely lucid utterances and sheer looniness of Coburn. Men want to be him, women want him to father their DUMB@$$E$ children. Yes, Tom Coburn is a legend, a dumbass among DUMB@$$E$. Many aspire, but few attain.
Just how (&^%$#@ crazy, how thoroughly unbalanced IS Tom Coburn? Well, it’s difficult to really know where to begin, but how about these examples for starters:
He is very much anti-abortion, but he sort of enjoys sterilizing women without their consent.
Speaking of women, did you know they are much healthier with fake tits?
He boldly stood up for the beloved, innocent insecticide DDT when the libtards wanted to honor some psycho who helped get it banned!
“Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in Southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it.”
IF I were a DUMB@$$, my hero and my role model would be Tom Coburn, a mental midget who’s truly convinced that he’s an intellectual and moral giant among mere, lesser mortals. The truly impressive thing about Coburn is his versatility. The man can make himself look like a complete DUMB@$$ on virtually any subject- abortion, immigration, religion, abortion, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. If you think about it, he’d really be the perfect Republican Presidential candidate. He’s more flexible issues-wise than Mitt Romney or John McCain, he’s a more believable DUMB@$$ than Ron Paul, he’s more articulate and likely to insert his size-12s into his yap than Tommy Thompson, Tom Tancredo, and he’s every bit as self-righteous and arrogantly uber-religious as Sam Brownback…PLUS he makes Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © look like the reincarnation of Benjamin Disraeli. I’ve probably missed a couple of candidates, but you get the point. The man’s got skills.
RUN, TOM, RUN!!! PRETTY PLEASE???
