July 30, 2007 6:15 AM

Another DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener

News flash! Sex in public still illegal

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Proposes Spending Millions to Eliminate Gay Sex at the Beach

I welcome our new heterosexual robotic toilet overlords

The madness of Mayor Naugle’s supporters

Rampant Lesbianism

DUMB@$$ AWARD wiener #630: Ft. Lauderdale, FL Mayor Jim Naugle

Watch out, George Michael: Jim Naugle, the mayor of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., has proposed buying $250,000 high-tech toilets to prevent “illegal sex” acts from being performed in public restrooms at the city’s beaches. Apparently the doors of the toilets open after a set time period, thereby making the robotic contraption ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ which also plays music and automatically cleans the seat ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ a sub-optimal venue for illicit sex.

There are few things that I have a more tenuous grip on these days than the Rabid Religious Right’s hate campaign against the GLBT community. Sounds like someone slept through the “Christian tolerance and compassion” lession in Sunday School, doesn’t it? So many of these unbalanced, holier-than-thou “Christians” wouldn’t recognize the teachings of Jesus Christ if they snuck up from behind and gave them a swift kick in the @$$. This is why I get such a kick out of our latest DUMB@$$- and by extension his supports, who are really some of the most unbalanced, uber-holy zealots you could possibly imagine. There are so many issues in this world on which the teachings of Jesus Christ could be brought to bear- hunger, poverty, injustice, education (stop me when you start to get my drift)- and yet Jim Naugle chooses to focus of the non-existent “scourge” of homosexual sex in public toilets. Lord knows that the natural habitat of gay men is public restrooms, eh?

What I truly don’t understand is why a fixation on the “evils” of an alternative lifestyle qualifies Mayor DUMB@$$ Naugle as a “Defender of the Family”? Perhaps if the Mayor was working on issues like Internet safety, after-school programs, providing parenting classes, preventing child abuse, or even preventing domestic abuse, I could see where this “award” might be earned. But for fomenting an atmosphere of hatred, discrimination, and the ridiculous waste of taxpayer dollars to “fix” a problem that doesn’t exist to begin with? All because this overt hatred happens to dovetail with their dominionist theocratic agenda? What part of “rampant, unbridled hypocrisy” does Naugle and his fellow knuckle-dragging troglodytes not understand?

Mayor Naugle has also come under fire for saying “Rev. D. James Kennedy is a great man.” He was right about that, too. And as Dr. Kennedy stood with Anita Bryant when she was railroaded by the homosexual lobby, we stand with Mayor Naugle now.

I thank God for this mayor who is sticking up for children who, after playing a game of soccer, may wander 50 feet into the library to ask the following questions:

Q: “Mommy?” Why is that part of our library closed off?
A: Well, Johnny, Ft. Lauderdale Commissioners Cindi Hutchinson, Charlotte E. Rodstrom, and Carlton B. Moore voted to take out the books that everybody can read and replace them with homosexual pornography. (Call them at 954-828-5004)

Q: Mommy? What’s homosexual pornography?
A: It’s what you saw in the public restroom earlier.

Q: Mommy? Why are those people so angry at the nice mayor?
A: Because he wants to protect you from all of it.

That’s right, Johnny; it’s best that you learn now to fear gays and lesbians, because even though they SAY they just want to be left alone, what they REALLY want is for you to join their club and participate in their sinful immorality. Learning to hate and fear gays and lesbians in the name of Jesus Christ is the godly thing to do. And don’t worry what the Bible says about love, compassion, and tolerance. You and I both know that it’s just filler between the parts where God smites those who anger and betray His plan.

Naugle, a what else — conservative Christian — has made a name for himself in South Florida for his no-holds-barred, no-brain-engaged comments.

For instance, he refused to sign a mayors’ pact on greenhouse gas reductions, claiming it was put forward by environmentalist “whackos” who hate America. He also made the insightful if illogical comment that home prices in South Florida would be lower if middle class people would stop sitting on the couch drinking beer and get to work. When a religious festival came to town, Naugle said those who opposed the city supporting a Christian event could just “go to Iraq.”

Jim Naugle is the reason the DUMB@$$ AWARD was invented in the first place. Self-righteous, xenophobic, and as ignorant as the day is long, Naugle long ago evolved into a parody of himself. If he weren’t in a position of power, he might just be quite amusing. As it is, he’s just the poster boy for ignorant, self-absorbed Wingnut Christianity. Nice job, DUMB@$$….

Lord, save us from your followers. PLEASE???

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 30, 2007 6:15 AM.

Yes, America...THIS is the highest law enforcement officer in the land was the previous entry in this blog.

Ah...finally, someone with some standards is the next entry in this blog.

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