Atlanta Considers Banning Baggy Pants
ATLANTA ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ Baggy pants that show boxer shorts or thongs would be illegal under a proposed amendment to Atlanta’s indecency laws. The amendment, sponsored by city councilman C.T. Martin, states that sagging pants are an “epidemic” that is becoming a “major concern” around the country…. “Little children see it and want to adopt it, thinking it’s the in thing,” Martin said Wednesday. “I don’t want young people thinking that half-dressing is the way to go. I want them to think about their future.”…. The proposed ordinance would also bar women from showing the strap of a thong beneath their pants. They would also be prohibited from wearing jogging bras in public or show a bra strap, said Debbie Seagraves, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Georgia. The proposed ordinance states that “the indecent exposure of his or her undergarments” would be unlawful in a public place. It would go in the same portion of the city code that outlaws sex in public and the exposure or fondling of genitals. The penalty would be a fine in an amount to be determined, Martin said.
Throughout recording history, it’s been the unstated yet universally understood mission of teenagers to piss off their elders. When I was a teenager, I wanted to grow my hair down to my shoulder; my father wanted me to have a crewcut. After numerous evenings barricaded in my room, guess who won that one? Yeah, I got over it eventually, but I did take a certain perverse joy in getting on the nerves of my parents. Thus has it ever been down through the ages, and thus it shall ever be now and into the future. Face it, y’all; you can’t legislate teenagers into compliance. All you can do is hope that they’ll wake up one morning and realize how stupid they look or how silly they’re acting. Trust me on this one; most of them will. Maybe not today, and perhaps not even tomorrow. Someday, though, most kids eventually manage to grow up.
Look, I understand that C.T. Martin may think he’s doing the right thing in trying to protect Atlanta from the scourge of sagging pants. Ultimately, though, the joke’s on him. Martin’s problem is that he’s just too old to understand that those wearing saggy pants are simply trying to stake out their individuality (by trying to look like everyone else around them, eh?). It’s silly, and it’s stupid, but it’s a “problem” that’s been around as long as there have been teenagers and adults. Besides, if Martin waits long enough, the “saggy pants” fad will pass…and something even sillier and more stupid will come along. Who knows; by this time next year, perhaps teenagers will be wearing their BVDs on the outside of their jeans.
The best way for Martin to deal with the “saggy pants” fad is to simply ignore it. Kids generally don’t care what adults think anyway. As far as they’re concerned, we’re too old to have a clue…and they might be right.
