Man who stuck rattler in his mouth was trying to make a point
In early August, snake collector Matt Wilkinson of Southeast Portland grabbed a 20-inch rattler off the highway near Maupin. Three weeks afterward, in a show of daring for an ex-girlfriend, Wilkinson stuck the snake in his mouth. A short time later, he was near death with a tongue swollen to the point it blocked his throat when emergency room and trauma surgeons at OHSU Hospital saved his life. The 23-year-old became a celebrity of sorts Tuesday when broadcast and cable news all over the country learned about his story. On the phone, still out of sorts with sore muscles and nerves from the venom, he sounded circumspect…. “You can assume alcohol was involved,” he said. Actually, not just beer. Something he chose to describe as a “mixture of stupid stuff.” Friends were over for a barbecue. A pit was being readied for a backyard bonfire. He himself had downed a six-pack. An ex-girlfriend asked him for a beer. He handed her one, not realizing said snake was also in his hand. “She said ‘Get that thing out of my face,’ ” Wilkinson said. “I told her it was a nice snake. ‘Nothing can happen. Watch.’ ”
Ah, yes…nothing says “I’m a DUMB@$$!!” quite like combining significant amounts of alcohol and poisonous reptiles, eh? Especially when a man is trying to impress the female of the species. More often than not, a combination such as this will lead to emergency room visits, large medical bills, and the not-at-all-implausible risk of one’s the aforementioned DUMB@$$’ ultimate demise. Thankfully, in this case, Mr. DUMB@$$ Wilkinson lived to tell the tale about how (if not why) he stuck a rattle snake in his mouth. Yes, kids…this was close to being a Darwin Award looking for a place to happen.
Then again, chicks just LOVE men willing to take stupid risks, don’t they?? For Wilkinson’s sake, I hope he at least got some nookie out of the deal….
