September 26, 2007 6:51 AM

OK, there goes my remaining few unsullied childhood memories

Marcia, Marcia, Marcia: Publisher denies report of lesbian Bradys

The book publisher for Maureen McCormick, who played Marcia Brady on the 1970s sitcom “The Brady Bunch,” is shooting down rumors that she had a lesbian on-set affair with co-star Eve Plumb, who played her younger sister Jan. The story of the alleged lesbian affair started circulating the Internet Friday, and was picked up by at least one newspaper on Saturday. The reported source of the story was McCormick herself in her new tell-all book, “Here’s the Story,” slated to come out next year. But the book’s publisher said, though there are plenty of other revelations in the book, a lesbian affair is not one of them…. “We are verifying that it is not true,” said Debbie Styer, senior vice president of group publicity at William Morrow, the book’s publisher. “The real story of what happened in [McCormick’s] life and behind the scenes of the show will all come out when the book comes out.”

Man, the next thing you know, there will be rumors circulating that David Cassidy had a torrid affair with Shirley Jones on the set of The Partridge Family. Uh, wait…. What, that’s already happened? Damn, you mean all those idyllic childhood memories are really all just window dressing…and that the stars of my favorite shows were really just horn dogs who spent their free time trying to boink their co-stars? Wow, so much for family-friendly, eh?? And here all this time I’d been thinking that all these fine, upstanding folks lived in convents and lived like Mother Teresa, clothing the poor and feeding the hungry. Instead, it turns out that some liked boys, some liked girls, and some like both…perhaps even at the same time.

Jeebus, what’s next? NFL engaging in dogfighting?? Baseball players taking steroids? Rock stars using drugs and having cheap, meaningless sex with anything not nailed down? Oh, the humanity….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on September 26, 2007 6:51 AM.

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