Here is the sticky, irresistible question, hovering like some sort of perky rainbow-colored cloud over anyone who reads the news or pays attention to the scandals or the nifty bathroom hand signals or the various semen stains covering the pages of the Official GOP Handbook like some sort of wretched, skanky Kandinsky painting: Really, just how many closeted, self-hating, violently repressed “I-am-not-gay” totally gay hypocrites are there in the Republican Party? Or for that matter, in your average born-again Christian megachurch? Or in the U.S. military? Or in (your morally righteous group’s name here)? Ten percent of them? Fifty? A hundred and four? Because baby, it just keeps popping up, scandal after scandal, homophobic lawmaker after anti-gay preacher after gay marriage attacker after hooker-loving “family values” adulterer, Bob Allen to Ted Haggard to Jim West to Glenn Murphy Jr. to David “Diaperman” Vitter, so many examples of a militant loudmouthed Christian Republican suddenly caught with his pants down around his boyfriend’s ankles that, after so many headlines, the notion that these cases might be rare or exceptional simply vanishes and you are left only with the undeniable fact that, oh my God, the American right is simply teeming with so much murky, pressure-cooked homoeroticism it might as well be a Young Republicans kegger at Mark Foley’s pink Miami Beach condo.
I’d be laughing if this story wasn’t so depressing and thoroughly hypocritical. The sad reality is that by and large, Republicans are just like you and, except for being so horribly wrong on so many issues. Most Republicans are good and honest people, who simply want the best for themselves, their families, and their country. Again, they may be horribly wrong on so many issues, but I respect their right to believe as they see fit. The problem is that a relatively small minority among them are succeeding in painting an entire political party as a collection of out of control moral reprobates with defective zippers and an unwillingness to live by the moral strictures they place upon everyone else.
I could care less if a politician buggers goats. It’s a free country, and if that’s what gets him through the night, more power to him. However, if you owe your power and your position to your willingness to champion Conservative “family values”, then you’re fair game. If you live the very values that you publicly profess to abhor, you deserve to be exposed for the liar and hypocrite you are. What’s more, you richly deserve all the ridicule that might justificably be directed your way.
Egregious sexual indiscretions are not something limited only to holier-than-thou Conservative Republicans. It’s just that these indiscretions are so much more fun to celebrate when a Right-wing troll is caught. The list of Republicans with zipper problems is a long and (not so) distinguished one. Yet, the denizens of God’s Own Party still insists on defining itself as the party of morality and family values. More like the party of barely repressed immorality and deviant sexuality….
How gay is the Republican Party? Apparently far more so than you might have previously thought. Whatever the truth of the matter is, there’s no denying that God’s Own Party has a serious credibility problem…not that Party leaders would EVER own up to that reality. That sort of arrogance is exactly why the GOP finds itself in a very uncomfortable and difficult to spin predicament. It’s never been about values, or morality, or even doing the right thing. No, as it ever is with the Republican Party, it’s about power…and if that sort of attitude isn’t a recipe for corruption and demagoguery, I don’t know what is.
Hookers and diapers and adultery and men’s room stalls…oh my!!!