The questionnaires revealed men were less discriminating when it came to deciding who to kiss or who to have sex with. They were more willing to have sex with someone without kissing, to have sex with someone they are not attracted to and agree to have sex with someone they considered to be a bad kisser.
After untold thousands of research dollars, and countless hours of thorough, grueling research, the results are in: mens are pigs with no standards who will sleep with anything with two breasts and a pulse. Yeah, I know; I was shocked by the results as well. Here all this time I’d been thinking that we men were loyal, faithful, romantic sorts…but then again, we’re not puppies are we? No, as revealed in this stunning, groundbreaking research, men very often think with the wrong head…with predictably mixed results. Of course, with the strategic application of enough alcohol, most any potential sexual partner can become the functional and temporary equivalent of Angelina Jolie.
You know, these folks could have saved themselves an awful lot of time and money if they’d just come and talked to me. Hell, I’d have been willing to split the grant money with them. They could have written it up any way they wanted, and they would have had plenty of money to troll a few bars and prove their (my) own theories. Frankly, I think my research methodology would be a whole lot more fun….
OK…cue up “She Blinded Me With Science”…and fade to black in 3…2…1….
