If I owned Hell and Texas, I’d live in Hell and rent Texas.
- General Phil Sheridan
Over the past few days, I’ve been alluding to some changes that have taken place for me, and while I’m not going to go into details, I wanted to at least update y’all on what’s been happening. TPRS is now no longer based in Texas. Yes, I’m now living in Portland, OR, the land of 10am NFL kickoffs and more wooly-headed Libruls than you can shake a stick at. How I ended up here is a long and not very pleasant story. Suffice it to say that my personal life is a mess at the moment, though I am/we are trying to work things out. I’ve transferred to a new job with my company, which I’m excited about. The change should do me some good as I begin to look for opportunities to challenge myself and perhaps pursue big and better things.
Having lived in Portland previously, I’m excited to be back. Yes, after 3747 days in Purgatory Texas, I’ve returned, and it’s definitely going to take some getting used to, though. After 10 years, Portland is a very different place, and I’m a very different person. While I still remember how to get around town, I am more than a little bit rusty. Things definitely look different from what I remember, and it should be fun to get used to some of the changes. The longer I stayed in Texas, the more I came to detest it. I don’t miss Texas, but part of me is still there, which is going to make this transition a difficult one in many respects.
In the meantime, though, I’ve got some…no, a LOT of work to do on myself. Sometimes things happen that force you to realize that you’re not nearly as on top of yourself as you’d been giving yourself credit for. In the past, I’ve talked about how I’ve battled my depression virtually my entire adult life. While I’ve been thinking that I’ve been doing a pretty good job of keeping the demons at bay, I can no longer kid myself. Things are not OK…not by a long shot. No, I’m not any sort of danger to myself, but I finally have to admit that I need to get some help. In fact, this has been true for quite some time now, and it’s impacted every aspect of my life. I’ve hurt people I love, and I’ve made some decisions that perhaps I might have not made if not for my depression. It’s the biggest reason I’m in the situation I’m in now.
I’m owning up to this not because I’m looking for attention, but because I’m looking for a way to hold myself accountable. I need to take care of some things so that I can take care of myself. Perhaps once I’ve managed to do that, I’ll be able to take better care of my relationships and the people I care most about. As things are now, I’ve manage to booger things up pretty well.
I’m here in Portland with some decidedly mixed feelings, but I can already tell you that I don’t miss Houston’s humidity. It’s nice to go outside and not feeling as if I’ve wrapped in Saran Wrap in a sauna. Yeah, things look and feel a bit different here….
I’m here, so I’ll deal with the hand I’ve dealt myself. I don’t know what form TPRS will take in the future, but I’m planning on keeping it going. I’m open to suggestions and ideas, so feel free to chime in if you’re moved to do so. I’ve got a few other things on my mind at the moment.
Stay tuned….
