EXCLUSIVE: “I Had Sex WIth Larry Craig!”
We’ve been having loads of fun with gay restroom goblin Larry Craig over the past couple of months, haven’t we? What we’ve been missing, though, is an on-the-record account from a source willing to come forward and tell what it’s like to have an actual romantic liaison with the Idaho Republican. Meet David Phillips, a local IT geek and bear-about-town.
Honestly, I could care less if Larry Craig buggers PVC pipes in his spare time. It’s a free country, and as long as the pipe isn’t harmed…well, who am I to pass judgement, right? What I absolutely detest is the rank hypocrisy exhibited by Larry Craig. Given the anecdotal information currently available, the only two people who don’t think Craig is gay are Craig and his (sadly clueless) wife. Yet Craig has always portrayed himself as a champion of “family values”, which has always been Right-wing code for spreading hatred against those whose lifestyle and sexual preferences one happens to find abhorrent.
Praise God!! And stone the apostates!!
What little bit of Craig’s interview with Matt Lauer I saw was really pretty comical…and actually rather sad. I found it difficult not to feel sorry for Craig- not because I share his politics, but because he’s a man steadfastly denying what virtually the entire political world knows to be true. No, no one can “prove” that Craig is gay, but anecdotal evidence being what it is…if it drops trou like a duck and takes a wide stance like a duck….
Being gay is no big deal- unless you’re a married, White, Republican senator from Idaho, one of the Reddest of Red states. Oh, and unless you’ve also based your entire political career on being an upstanding, morally righteous man of character. Yeah, imagine the fallout if it turns out that all these years you’ve been skulking around gay bars and engaging in the very behavior you’ve pretended to abhor. Imagine the fallout if it’s discovered that not only have you not been faithful to your wife, but that you’ve been using her as political camouflage while you’ve been surreptitiously satisfying your illicit urges.
Yeah, I feel sorry for Larry Craig…to a point. To the extent that his hypocrisy has harmed others…well, the man can roast in Hell for all I care. Frankly, I hope he does. And don’t be trying to convince me that David Phillips is Craig’s only “victim”. Please…. I think we’re all intelligent enough to do the math and come to the conclusion that Phillips was without a doubt only one of many.
Again, I don’t care about Craig’s sexual preference, insofar as it’s a personal choice. If buggering goats gets you through the night, well…so be it. But when your hypocrite enough to campaign and vote against the very behavior and lifestyle you engage in at very likely every opportunity…yeah, there probably ought to be a very special place in Hell for Larry Craig. Frankly, I’d like to be the one to shop with the gasoline and the matches.
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