Gonzales Named Lawyer of the Year
Gonzales Named Lawyer Of The Year
WASHINGTON (AP) ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ A magazine published by the American Bar Association on Wednesday named former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales its Lawyer of the Year for 2007 ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ mostly for creating so much controversial news. The ABA Journal also picked Attorney General Michael Mukasey ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ Gonzales’ successor ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ to be its lawyer of the year for 2008 because he has to deal with the problems left when Gonzales resigned under fire last fall. Qualifications for the title were not immediately clear.
Normally, the TPRS DUMB@$$ AWARD committee (which consists of…um…myself….) would bestow the (not so very) coveted DUMB@$$ AWARD on someone guilty of the sin of commission. Saying or doing something that displays surpassing stupidity is always a plus and an entree into the DUMB@$$ fraternity. In this case, though, the committee’s going with the sin of omission. Of course, Alberto Gonzales deserves a DUMB@$$ AWARD for his entire body of work as Attorney General. This time, though, he’s getting the award for not having the decency to swear off the sort of honor that the American Bar Association has bestowed upon him.
“Lawyer of the Year”? One can only hope that this is some sort of sick joke perpetrated by attorneys in whom normal human qualities like a grip on reality and/or a functional sense of humor are absent.
Gonzales, if he had even the barest shred of decency remaining, would come out and say something like: “Hey, thanks, y’all…but y’know, I really screwed the pooch here, and I just don’t feel right accepting this “Lawyer of the Year” award. How about y’all find someone who’s actually adhered to the high ethical and moral standards expected of laywers?” [Insert appropriate lawyer joke here.]
Then again, self-awareness has never been a hallmark of Republican ideologues, has it? Authoritarian idologues marching to the tune of Our Glorious and Benevolent Leader © aren’t often known for self-awareness and/or independent thinking.
Let’s hope that Gonzales enjoys his richly-deserved DUMB@$$ AWARD. Oh, and here’s a tip: it can also be used as a flotation device…and in emergencies, it can double as a suppository.
Party on, Garth….
