Sex Toys and Rants: Somewhere, Muhammad Weeps
Jesus dildos! Baby Jesus butt plugs! Porn Again Christians! Is this a Richard Blakeley video? Ah, no. It’s the work of our virginal-yet-bendy Liz Glover who snuck into the National Press Club and infiltrated a presentation by Americans for Truth About Homosexuality. “Could you imagine if they had a Muhammad butt plug?” Why not?
A “Baby Jesus butt plugs”? “Jesus dildoes”?? Oh, DO TELL!! Man…if you do ANYTHING today, watch this video. If the rampant, unbridled self-righteousness doesn’t put a smile on your face, I don’t know what will.
Don’t get me wrong; I recognize that these folks have every right to hold and espouse such beliefs as they see fit. ‘Course, I also have the right to call “bullshit” on them for burning energy and outrage over something that really isn’t a major problem. You want problems? How about nearly 4,000 Americans returning home from Iraq in flag-draped boxes? How about the reality that, more than two years after Hurricane Katrina, New Orleans is still nowhere near back to what it once was? How about the middle class being squeezed by rising prices on, well, everything? Instead, these trolls have decided to vent their spleens over products used by an almost imperceptible minority. The only reason these prodcuts are getting any airplay is because the self-righteous and holier-than-thou have chosen to bring attention to them.
There’s a very simple solution available, of course. If you don’t like or are offended by these products, DON’T BUY THEM. Better yet, DON’T DRAW ATTENTION TO THEM. All you’re really doing is providing free advertising and a likely windfall for those selling products you find so thoroughly offensive. Yeah, someone’s laughing all the way to the bank….
CALL NOW…OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY!! CALL IN THE NEXT 20 MINUTES, AND WE’LL ALSO INCLUDE A GROSS OF GLOW-IN-THE-DARK BIBLE VERSE CONDOMS!! Yeah, now there’s a way to bring the Word to the unchurched (Oh, Baby, I love it when you repeatedly drive home your point about the Ten Commandments!)….
If you are offended by the “homosexual lifestyle”, you have a very simple choice available to you: don’t live it. From where I sit, a “lifestyle” is a personal choice, and if that choice is between two consenting adults, then the opinions and/or morality of anyone outside that relationship should have no bearing on anything. If you’re opposed to homosexuality, then don’t schtupp members of your gender. If someone else happens to think, believe, and live differently, you’re kindly invited to STFU, because your opinion counts for nothing.
Then again, I rather enjoy watching these folks get themselves wound up into a self-righteous, holier-than-thou fever. It’s really quite entertaining…especially since they clearly have NO idea how comical and truly off-the-wall their rants are. It’s a comedy gold mine.
Party on, Garth….
