January 10, 2008 4:59 AM

Dude...what, you couldn't order a pizza?

Officials: Suspect killed, tried to eat girlfriend

TYLER ‚Äö√Ñ√Æ A man held on a capital murder charge in the death of his 21-year-old girlfriend tried to cook and eat her body before police arrived, authorities said today. The woman’s death and mutilation were apparently the beginning of a crime spree that included the murder suspect stabbing the boyfriend of his estranged wife and breaking into a business. The stabbing victim is in critical condition at an area hospital, officials said. Christopher Lee McCuin, 25, of Tyler, is in the Smith County Jail on a $2 million bond today and did not have an attorney, officials said. Sheriff officials were alerted Saturday morning after McCuin told his mother and her boyfriend to look in their garage. There, the couple saw the body of 21-year-old Jana Shearer, McCuin’s girlfriend. McCuin’s mother and her boyfriend fled the home and flagged down a police officer. After they left, McCuin called 911 and told an emergency dispatcher he had killed his girlfriend and was boiling parts of her, said Smith County Sheriff J.B. Smith.

Personally, I preferred my girlfriends sauteed in lemon butter with just a hint of garlic, but I supposed there’s no accounting for taste, huh? Jeebus…this is some scary stuff, isn’t it?? And now the neighbors are talking like he was crazy? Gee…you think??

Perhaps I shouldn’t be, given my experience in the former Yugoslavia, but I never cease to be amazed at the true depth and breadth of human ingenuity when it comes to killing each other. In this case, it wasn’t just enough for McCuin to kill his girlfriend. No, he apparently took it to another level…and then when he was done, he decided to boil her…for, what…soup stock?

Sometimes, I begin to think that there just might be some wisdom in frontier justice after all.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 10, 2008 4:59 AM.

Can we skip everything else and go straight to the funeral pyre? was the previous entry in this blog.

No, he lived to start a war of his very own is the next entry in this blog.

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