Amy Fisher, husband promote sex tape: Welcome to America, where you can make a living off ANYTHING if you’re creative enough. Oh…and it helps if you have no moral boundaries….
Family Of 6 Arrested Over Droopy Jeans: It seems that there’s no greater threat to Our Way of Life © than a young African-American male wearing droopy jeans in a mall. Thankfully, a liberal application of police manpower and tax dollars stopped this threat before it could impact the sensibilities and well-being of good, God-bearing Christian White Folk.
The Death of Jessica Simpson: You should be able to figure out that your career is circling the drain when your movie opens and takes in all of $400 over a weekend. What next? Well, if you’re Jessica Simpson, you decide that it’s time to record a Country album. Damn…and I was going to do that.
Orgasmic Childbirth- The idea that one of the reasons to opt for unassisted childbirth is that birth can be a potentially sexual and orgasmic experience.: This one should without a doubt be filed under “Too Much Information”…and yes, like any burgeoning social trend, Orgasmic Childbirth has it’s own website and, apparently, a movie. Thanks, but I think I’ll have to sit this one out.
Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy gives Nick a new hole to fill‚Äö√Ñ√Æwait, that doesn’t sound right: Uh, no…no, it doesn’t…but even someone as cycnical as I am has to appreciate and admire the predicament that Nickolodeon finds itself in. WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS??
Britney on suicide watch as she loses the right to see her children after taking them hostage: Oh, and while we’re savaging the Spears family, Britney sure turned out to be some kind of role model, didn’t she? I wonder if it’s too late to change the vote I cast for “Mother of the Year”?
Media Talking Heads Gush Over McCain Loss In Iowa: ‚Äö√Ñ√≤Big Hero,’ Maverick,’ ‚Äö√Ñ√≤Babe Ruth’: Greetings from Iowa…the only place on the planet where a fourth-place finish can be spun into a resounding victory. It’s all about meeting the expectations of the pundits, no?
Fox News: populism’s win is America’s loss: OK, so let me see if I have this straight: democracy is the mortal enemy of…democracy? Uh, what??
(Ed. note: Mea culpa for the poor-to-nonexistent proofreading this morning. I’m nursing a migraine and my concentration- never impressive under the best of circumstances- seems to have gone on hiatus.)
