Woman, 53, Uses Martial Arts To Nab Alleged Burglar: Lighthouse Point Black Belt Chases, Holds Burglar For Police: If you think breaking into the home of a middle-aged woman is easy, you might want to make sure your mark isn’t, say, a black belt and a marathon runner.
Mother, boyfriend arrested after infant tested legally drunk: So what? It’s not like the kid’s gonna drive home….
Fire officials seek ban of novelty lighters: OK, but how will Maine-iacs light their novelties?
500-pound retired policeman told obesity caused his disability: Ah, I see that Captain Obvious is back for a return engagement….
Texas appeals court: Monkeys and chimps can’t sue: Where is Johnnie Cochran when the wildlife kingdom needs him? Oh, right…he’s dead. Sorry….
Packers fan mistakenly shreds ticket to NFC title game: That sound you think you’re hearing is me cackling maniacally as I revel in the suffering- ANY suffering- of a Packers fan.
Thousands of snakes on a plane seized in Vietnam: Cue the Samuel Jackson clip and…wait for it…Get these mother(&^%$#@ snakes off my mother(&^%$#@ plane!!
Duncan Hunter FINALLY Quits: So long, Dunc! We’ll miss your constant chattering about terrorism and your incessant, incoherent babbling about Brown People and fences and such. Buh-bye!!
Proud Naval Tradition May Fade Away: Uh, you’re going to send these folks off to war, and you’re worried about them getting hurt climbing a pole?
Packers Fans Tend To Be Wise And Capable Parents: What’s a man to do when his progeny refuses to wear the sainted Green and Gold? Well, of course, silly; he’s going to tie the miscreant up and tape the jersey to his body.
If You Don’t Cook Brats, The Terrorists Win: WTF?? Whaddya mean you can’t tailgate at the Super Bowl?? Somewhere, Osama bin-Laden is ROTFLHAO.
Admirers of Constitution Booted for Wearing Impeach T-shirts in DC: Freedom of speech? WHAT freedom of speech??
January 20, 2008 6:38 AM
