February 12, 2008 5:41 AM

Most college students would stick to pizza and beer

Sunday on Meet The Press, Mike Huckabee addressed what could be one of the greater scandals of his presidential bid thus far: back in January on Morning Joe, Huck confessed to frying squirrel in a popcorn popper and eating it as a snack while in college. Call us conventional, or maybe just Yankee, but we were intrigued and slightly repulsed. Just how far can this squirrel snack go? Despite Huckabee’s claim that squirrel “tastes like… squirrel,” it seems that there are a lot of ways to spice it up.

Here’s a reason why you might just want to vote for Mike Huckabee, and while a Huckabee Administration might turn out to be WAY beyond entertaining: fried squirrel at state dinners!! I did a LOT of wierd stuff during my college days, things that leave me amazed I have any brain cells left. Never did I ever have the opportunity (much less a reason) to fry squirrel meat on the burner of a popcorn popper.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I should own up to my culinary peccadillo: during my senior year in high school, I took a Home Ec class for giggles. When things got boring, I would put flies in a microwave oven and take bets on how long they’d last. The average was about 30 seconds before they turned into a boiling puddle of goo. Yum….)

I was watching Meet the Press while I was on an elliptical trainer at the gym on Sunday morning (is it just me, or do I seem to see all the wierd stuff while trapped on an elliptical trainer??). It was truly one of those “Honey, did I just hear what I think I heard??” moments. Not often am I rendered mute, but I was speechless after hearing a serious discussion of what I can only guess is the official Arkansas state snack food. Ugh…maybe it’s time to go vegan after all….

I don’t know why I’m surprised by the idea of frying squirrel meat on the burner of a popcorn popper. Even more surprising, there are actual, honest-to-God recipes that use squirrel meat (this, after all, is the Internet we’re talking about here). F’rinstance you can make Squirrel Brunswick Stew, or Squirrel Jambalaya, or Squirrel Soup, or even Squirrel Casserole. I could go on, but I’m making myself ill, and I think you get the point.

The more I think about it, four years of President Huckabee ought to be WAY entertaining, a veritable comedy gold mine. We could see the Western White House in a trailer park outside Booneville. Shoes (and showers) would be optional in the Oval Office. The White House chef would have to bone up on preparing dishes featuring, among other delicaciessquirrel, possum, and roadkill of all varieties. I would imagine there would also be a new Cabinet position- Secretary of White Trash Affairs. This almost makes me want to endorse Huckabee…nah, not even the sheer comic potential of a Huckabee Adminstration could make me do that. Still, it IS fun to consider the possibilities, no?

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 12, 2008 5:41 AM.

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